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Today I told him he had to leave
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 680286" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>So Ready, You are entitled to your grieving time, we all are. So let it out as much as you can, it is healthy. Then work to build yourself up. Do know, that there are places for our kids to go to, to get warm, to get help. You have done a good thing for him, it may not seem like it now, because you are seeing him cold, in the car. Well, this has to be a point in his life where he needs to decide how he is going to live. Most of us have found that our kids do not launch and learn how to thrive in our homes. They just go into a tailspin, dependent, angry and resentful. That is not healthy for anybody. So, you have helped him. YOU are helping him understand the way the world works. Try not to think about him cold in the car. Set your sites on the fact that he has to do something about it, and he CAN. He MUST.</p><p>In your home, odds are he wouldn't.</p><p>You have set him free of the dependence that chained him.</p><p>Gave him his wings, now he has to test them.</p><p>It is growth and change.</p><p>It is good.</p><p>Hard....but good.</p><p></p><p>Here is one of my favorite videos representing what our kids and WE need to learn.</p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]kT2KROiSXDg[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>I love this. Old style, John Wayne.<em> It is how we learned. Get out there in that world, the pond of life and sink or swim. </em>The kids at home, are like the kid on the bank, fishing, with no possible good result. Will we be the Mom, worried and fretful. Or will we be John Wayne, confident that the kids<em> can swim</em>, and learn to fish on the other side of the bank, learn to depend on themselves and live.</p><p></p><p>Will we be the Mom and allow them to live at home, not trusting that they can make it, casting their shadow, walking all over us? </p><p></p><p>Or will we be John Wayne and say "What you can't swim?" </p><p><em>SPLASH </em></p><p><em>"</em>Yes you can......"</p><p></p><p>They can swim So Ready, and so can we.</p><p></p><p>Have faith warrior Mom, he is going to be okay, because he has to be okay. </p><p></p><p>You have done a good thing.</p><p></p><p>You are John Wayne.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 680286, member: 19522"] So Ready, You are entitled to your grieving time, we all are. So let it out as much as you can, it is healthy. Then work to build yourself up. Do know, that there are places for our kids to go to, to get warm, to get help. You have done a good thing for him, it may not seem like it now, because you are seeing him cold, in the car. Well, this has to be a point in his life where he needs to decide how he is going to live. Most of us have found that our kids do not launch and learn how to thrive in our homes. They just go into a tailspin, dependent, angry and resentful. That is not healthy for anybody. So, you have helped him. YOU are helping him understand the way the world works. Try not to think about him cold in the car. Set your sites on the fact that he has to do something about it, and he CAN. He MUST. In your home, odds are he wouldn't. You have set him free of the dependence that chained him. Gave him his wings, now he has to test them. It is growth and change. It is good. Hard....but good. Here is one of my favorite videos representing what our kids and WE need to learn. [MEDIA=youtube]kT2KROiSXDg[/MEDIA] I love this. Old style, John Wayne.[I] It is how we learned. Get out there in that world, the pond of life and sink or swim. [/I]The kids at home, are like the kid on the bank, fishing, with no possible good result. Will we be the Mom, worried and fretful. Or will we be John Wayne, confident that the kids[I] can swim[/I], and learn to fish on the other side of the bank, learn to depend on themselves and live. Will we be the Mom and allow them to live at home, not trusting that they can make it, casting their shadow, walking all over us? Or will we be John Wayne and say "What you can't swim?" [I]SPLASH "[/I]Yes you can......" They can swim So Ready, and so can we. Have faith warrior Mom, he is going to be okay, because he has to be okay. You have done a good thing. You are John Wayne. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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