today is S2BX's birthday

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by amazeofgrace, Jun 16, 2008.

  1. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    sigh............ I feel sorry for him, as he is spending his 42nd birthday locked up in rehab.This is the 1st year in over a decade I am not making him an angel food cake with vanilla icing.

    But I feel even more sorry for difficult child II who also knows it's his Dad's birthday and that yesterday was father's day and he hasn't talked to his Dad in 4 weeks or seen him since January.

    sigh............ I am in a rutt again, trying to push my butt on out of it.:(
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Grace! Pull yourself up now girlie! He put himself there. No one else. The devil gives you enough rope to hang yourself, and rehab might just loosen the noose.

    Use it as a lesson for difficult child 2. Let him know that it was his fathers ACTIONS that landed him there and that's why you're teaching him now to do better than his dad when he gets to be his dad's age. You want to make sure that he'll be the perfect dad when he has a son to spend father's day with.

    Feel better kiddo! With the path S2BX was taking, it was just as likely that you'd be in the hospital on Mother's Day and he would have been in jail on Father's Day!

    We love ya!

  3. Star*

    Star* call 911


    Did I ever tell you I can operate heavy equipment? You need a push baby? I'm your girl. I chose for todays task a Caterpillar 790 front end loader. Key in, belt on, check the mirrors, off we go, bucket down.......lift slightly to catch yer behind and HIT THE GAS MOMMA -

    Consider yourself pushed out of a rutt, out of the house, out of the construction site and into a land where YOU make that vanilla frosted angel food cake, and you and your son have a bit of it in "honor" of him.

    No one said he had to BE THERE to have a PARTY. And not one person would tell my kid he shouldn't make a card for his dad. If it will make him happy, get a large paper sack - and let your son collect things to give his dad when HE sees him. (except the cake) all leftovers must be sent to the Dragon *** Ranch in SC.

    PM me for address. lol.........(yells to the dogs) CAKE ON THE WAAAAAAAAY!.

    ps - don't ever feel sorry for an alcoholic or addict. Grieve for the time you lost due to their choices, but never allow yourself to feel sorry for them. You can feel sorry for the circumstances that brought him to this place - but don't feel sorry for him and try not to feel sorry for your son. If you have to feel sorry about any of it - feel sorry for the situation he's caused by his actions and move on.
  4. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    sniff, thank you, his birthday is 6-16-1966, It could only be scarier if it
    was 6-6-1966
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Did you know Janet's little baby granddaughter was born on 6/6/06?

    SHE IS GEORGEOUS - so not everything born around sixes has to be scary!

    Your absence should be making the heart grow stronger - and you sound like you're ready to take him back. Sniff sniff on his birthday - INDEED.

    I got a few things for him to sniff...hrumph. :sick:
  6. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member


    true, S2BX does err on the scarey side though, I remember checking his skull after I saw the omen, LOL, but I am not superstitious truly, much more faith based, which is the core of my struggles, the whole "good christian wife/anti-divorce thing" my church has been tremendously supportive but my husband's name tag is still right next to mine on the board every Sunday. And still on all church related correspondance.

    I think I am finally grieving the loss of my husband, I have beeb stopping myself from entertaining "what if" thoughts. And besides I have you my dear and all my other board sisters here to keep me straight:beautifulthing:
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It is hard when you end a marriage. You really need to grieve over the loss of the marriage, but NOT feel sorry for s2bx. Grieve what HIS choices robbed you of, robbed your children of. Can you ask the church to have his name elsewhere, and removed from correspondence?? They might not realize it is hurting you. Others probably don't really think about that.

    I am glad your church is supportive. I think if they knew it hurt you they would at least move his name, and send his mail to him.


  8. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Girl? Have you made it to AlAnon yet?
  9. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    All I can give is cyber hugs. Sounds like you're on the right path, albiet hard.

  10. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    :ashamed:kitty, it's still on the list
  11. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm just seeing this now. I'm glad Star smacked you upside the head and pushed you out of that rut.

    It's okay to mourn the loss of your marriage. It's okay to mourn for your kids, but good grief, DO NOT.....I repeat.....DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR THAT MAN!

    Got it? Ya sure? Good.

  12. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    <<<HUGS>>> Thanks :O)
  13. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Put it on the VERY TIPPY TOP of the list.