Today is the day

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by crazymama30, Jan 5, 2011.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    First of all let me apopologize for not being on the boards much lately. Things here have been insane, and it has been all I can do to keep my sanity. This could be long, as it will be easiest to understand if I start at the beginning.

    12/17 I took husband to the hospital as I suspected he had od'd on his pain medications (accidentallly I think) and had aspirated his own salivia. He had, he had pneumonia, and was admitted to the medical floor. He has had in the past several episodes where he passes out (for lack of better term) and we have seen every possible specialist with no answer. He had one of those episodes at the hospital, I called the nurse in who called the doctor. They thought it was due to him having too many narcs, which it could have been. Next thing I know the charge nurse (who I took care of as a pt on surgical floor) is asking to speak to me outside. Said she was going to be upfront and honest and asked if brought husband any pain medications from home. I said no, I flushed the ones I found. She said she was going to have to ask me to leave and that when I visited that there would have to be a staff member in the room. I get that, did not offend me. At this point husband was waking up, went beserk. Thought someone was yelling at me. Ripped out his IV, was cussing and swearing. They called the code for an out of control pt. (now remember, I work at this hospital). He ended up leaving AMA, and I refused to take him home.

    He stayed at a friend's. 12/17, easy child called him and could barely understand him, he could barely speak. She told the friend to take him to ER, friend got me on the phone and I said the same thing. Took husband to ER, they had to narcan him twice and he was in the ICU overnight. Had very serious double pneumonia. Tried to get him into psychiatric hospital and then to a treatment facility, he refused. I left him there on his own, but he did not leave AMA.

    12/21 He called me and said he was going through withdrawals. I took him to the ER, he was completely honest with them. Said he would go to psychiatric hospital or to secure psychiatric unit in the hospital or straight to treatment. There were no beds locally, I asked social worker about treatment centers in other areas and she said she knew nothing about them, that we would have to check on those ourselves. He was sent home with clonidine for withdrawals.

    I let him come home, and he seemed to do ok. The last few days his attitude is worsening, and yesterday morning I went through his text messages and he was dealing pills. I told him last night he either goes to an inpt treatment facility or gets divorced. At first he said divorce, and I went and got his bags and starting packing them. I told him for me the easy answer was divorce. He stopped me and said he will go.

    We have an appointment at 1pm at a facility 4hrs away, and am waiting to hear from a facility 3 hrs away about insurance stuff. If he backs out I will divorce him and kick him out. I am a nervous anxious wreck. It is 5:40am here, and I took a klonopin an hour ago. I will do what I have to do, but it is so hard, the waiting for things to happen. The kids want to go with to take daddy to treatment, and I think they are old enough to make that decision. So they will go with us. Could be interesting as the roads here are a mess due to the weather, so lets hope everyone plays nice on the long drive to wherever we end up.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Boy, your plate has been full. I am sending caring thoughts and prayers your way. DDD
  3. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Many enouraging vibes heading your husband's way along with supportive ones for you and your family. What a difficult path. I agree with the comment that divorce is the easy way out (for him). I'm glad he opted to do the work to get himself right and I hope this is the start of a path to wellness, for him and his addiction and then for your marriage. I am proud of you for holding your ground even at risk of your marriage. (((hugs)))
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I very much hope that this is a step to a better life for all of you.
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Many, many hugs. Hope all goes well today.
  6. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Hoping your husband makes the decision to do whatever is necessary to get well, to work on repairing his relationships with you and your children... So sorry things had to get to this point but maybe, in the long run, it'll turn out to be a blessing in disguise... Keeping you close in my thoughts... Hugs... SFR
  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hugs, this is an incredible amount of stress and upheaval.
  8. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    CM, you are doing everything you possibly can, and more, to help him. That's all anyone could hope for. Ultimately, it's up to him and I know you know that. Doesn't diminish the pain you are going through one bit and I'm so sorry your life has been made a hell because of all this. I will be praying for your serenity, your strength, your courage and your wisdom to get through this next stage, wherever that leads you. Please know that you have an army of supporters here to lift you up. Let us know what happens when you can.

  9. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i'm glad that you had the strength to stand up and say what you did and handle it the way you did. good for u. soo not an easy thing to do at all ever. yet it was the right thing. i hope all goes well and he goes in, could make all the difference in the world as you already know. also you will have a breather and a little less stress.

    hang in there. sending you good thoughts.

  10. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Hoping things go well today. Keep us updated later. Prayers going out that things go in the right direction for your family.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Keeping you in my prayers that all goes well, that he accepts the help he needs, and that the best possible outcome is achieved. (((((hugs)))))