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<blockquote data-quote="Mamacat" data-source="post: 704469" data-attributes="member: 20962"><p>The topic tonight at the CODA meeting was step 6, became entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. I thought i could get through that one in a hurry because I didn't have any defects of character. I am a good person, never intentionally hurt any one. It was all those other people casusing the problems. Well, as I listened tonight a word continually popped in my mind.....honesty. Echolette, I too had no idea how to speak honestly when I didn't want to do something because then you may not like me. But I'm learning the people who I can trust will in no way think less of me if I don't do what they want. This is a new way of operating for me. I'm finding I'm saying no, but not with complete honesty. I was asked to join a group of women to play bunco on a Sunday afternoon. I never, ever want to do this, but instead of being completely honest that this is not my cup of tea., I kinda himmed and hawed and made it like I couldn't go next Sunday when the truth is I never want to go. So I still have a way to go in speaking my truth. And now there's stress around it. I wonder what my life would have been iike if years ago I would have told my daughter no, I cannot hep you anymore. I was so desperate for her love and approval and now many years later and thousand of doars later, it's happened anyway. And my life has not ended because she won't speakto me. In fact, the stress level has gone WAY down</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mamacat, post: 704469, member: 20962"] The topic tonight at the CODA meeting was step 6, became entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. I thought i could get through that one in a hurry because I didn't have any defects of character. I am a good person, never intentionally hurt any one. It was all those other people casusing the problems. Well, as I listened tonight a word continually popped in my mind.....honesty. Echolette, I too had no idea how to speak honestly when I didn't want to do something because then you may not like me. But I'm learning the people who I can trust will in no way think less of me if I don't do what they want. This is a new way of operating for me. I'm finding I'm saying no, but not with complete honesty. I was asked to join a group of women to play bunco on a Sunday afternoon. I never, ever want to do this, but instead of being completely honest that this is not my cup of tea., I kinda himmed and hawed and made it like I couldn't go next Sunday when the truth is I never want to go. So I still have a way to go in speaking my truth. And now there's stress around it. I wonder what my life would have been iike if years ago I would have told my daughter no, I cannot hep you anymore. I was so desperate for her love and approval and now many years later and thousand of doars later, it's happened anyway. And my life has not ended because she won't speakto me. In fact, the stress level has gone WAY down [/QUOTE]
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