Today's Bowling Tournament

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Andy, Mar 14, 2009.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Sigh -

    difficult child was doing great this morning. The tournament was a good hour away including dropping husband off at the "farm property".

    I planned to get to the bowling alley early so we could have lunch and get familiar with the bowling lanes. difficult child was beginning to not feel well (disconnected) and getting anxious. I figured if he ate something and then could bowl a few practice games it would help get him in the right mode.

    He said he wasn't hungry - ate one bite of a grilled cheese sandwich. He then went to the bathroom because he thought he felt like throwing up. He came out and said he did throw up but felt a little better.

    difficult child then played three games and though he seemed somewhat better he was still not doing very well. He said he wanted to go home and wished they could take those three games as his scores for the day.

    We had about 20 minutes before the tournament started. He told me that he could not recognize me - I looked different. At one point he took his glasses off and said, "Oh, never mind, it is just my glasses". So, he puts his glasses back on and goes back into the "Something is wrong with my head" converstation. Ugh!

    I had him rest his eyes. Each game took 45 minutes. There were 5 kids per lane on the two lanes he was bowling. When it was not his turn, he would come up and sit with me. Although he didn't feel like he was doing well, he got 116 on his first game (10 over average) and ended up being in 2nd for the two lanes. (That doesn't mean anything toward actual wins because all kids that bowl the three different times are competing so we don't know where he is in the real mix. And, this was our first tournament so I really don't know how scores are tallied. I know there can be handicaps involved - I am guessing wins would be by average and not necessarily per game?). Needless to say, we really have no idea how the real picture looks but he bowled well and meeting his average which is always his main goal - the rest is gravy!

    That brought his spirits up a little but he was still not with it. On his 2nd game, he started out very poorly but ended up in 3rd in the two lanes with a 122.

    By the time the 3rd game started, he said he was feeling much better. He said being in the bathrooms he felt better so he is sure it was the lights of the alley. Some areas are darker than others and that was bothersome. He must have adjusted to the lights and with the success of the first two games, I could tell he was much much better - so much more like himself. He ended the third game with 131 in 2nd place in the two lanes. He was 2nd place overall in the two lanes.

    We will not know for up to a month how he placed (if at all) but he and I are both very happy that he did extremely well for his own score because that is all that counts - that he could reach his average every game and be so far over it shows he is growing in this sport.

    So, sigh, I am more and more open to medications again. This great day wasn't as much fun for him as it should have been.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi, Andy. Well, he made it.
    He sounds a lot like me when I was his age. I had so much anxiety. Just being in a strange place scared me. I would have all sorts of somatic symptoms like headaches, blurred vision, nausea, and I'd think I felt like I was going crazy. It was so bad at school that I used to have panic attacks and scream while getting up and running out of the room. The kids called me "mental." There was no medications or help back then and the kids teased me. I was a horrible hypochondriac.
    I'm thinking that the lights, if they were "strange" made him feel a little dizzy or a little spooked out. I still don't like fluorescent lights. I don't scream now, of course, but I'm also on medications and have learned how to slow down my body when I'm in "fight or flight" mode.
    I'm glad that, in spite of it all, he bowled well. in my opinion, this is a child who does need medication. I'm not sure SSRI's are the ticket, but I do think he'd do better on something. Another thing that can help is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but he may not be old enough to really understand it.
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Well I am glad that he bowled well.
    But I am so sad that he is struggling like this.
    Hang in there.
    This sounds like it is so tough on you. I hate having to make these choices.
    Just having to change K's medications last month was hard, I am still wondering. It is always a battle and dilemma.
  4. Janna

    Janna New Member


    I'm so glad he made it through the day! That's great. And, he got good scores. Woo!

    medication choices are hard. I know. I'm in my own battle right now for D, and it's not easy. Anxiety is our #1 concern too.

    Sending supportive hugs.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry he is struggling so with his anxiety. I know that the medication choice thing is difficult. I am very proud that he was able to bowl and get decent scores.
  6. ML

    ML Guest

    It sounds like he's using some skills to help himself feel better. I hope you can find peace with augmenting his treatment plan with medications. It's hard to watch our kids in so much discomfort with things that are supposed to be "fun". Thinking of you today.
  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Thank you!

    I think the biggest thing that is helping me make the acceptance of medications is that he is using his skills and still having problems. That does assure me the necessity of medications - that he can not do this on his own right now.

    Thank you for helping me see a bigger picture.

    I will let you know how Wednesday's therapist appointment goes.