B
bran155
Guest
Well today is the big day. She is 18 today. I woke up feeling a bit sad but was able to hold it together for the most part. My son had a birthday party to go to today. On the drive there she calls my sister's cell phone. She spoke to my sister for a few minutes, nicely. My sister asked her where she was, of course she wouldn't say. My sister told her to at least call us every once in a while so that we know she is okay. Then she wanted to talk to me. She was very pleasant. Which made me even sadder. It is much easier to deal with her being missing when she is cursing me out. She kept on telling me that I was her whole world and that she loved me so much. I said happy birthday to her. She told me she wanted to come by the house and see me. I told her if she was coming to get birthday presents, there were none. She laughed and said she knew that she wasn't getting any presents. She asked if I would give her money. I said no. She did not get upset, she was quite nice actually. She just kept repeating how much she loved me. I asked her if she would tell me where she was and she said no. I asked her if she was safe. She said yes. She sounded really good. She said she does not want to go back to jail. I told her that at some point she is going to have to face up to her responsibilities. I gave her her sw's phone number and told her to call her as she would come to her. I explained to her that the sw would not turn her in but she would help her in any way she could. She was happy about that and wrote down the number. I hope she calls her. We hung up on a good note and then I fell apart. I called my mom to tell her that I heard from my daughter and she fell apart. She has been crying all day as it is her first grandchilds birthday today and she is out on the streets somewhere.
She called back and said that she just left the house. I asked her how on earth she got in. She swore up and down that the door was open??? I swear we locked it when we left. She promised that she didn't take anything that did not belong to her. She just came to get some of her clothes. She again told me quite a few times how much she loved me. Like a knift right through the heart!!! I told her that I loved her very much and when she was ready to turn her life around I would be here for her. She said she knew that.
I was afraid to come home. I didn't want to find that she had taken anything. To my surprise it doesn't look like anything is missing. She took clothes, a brush, her curling iron, blow dryer and her toothbrush. I am assuming that she is staying in someone's house if she took all that stuff. I think she is where she was the last time she went missing. At some guys apartment in the Bronx. She once told me that it was a dump and this guy is on welfare and lets anyone live with him. At least she isn't sleeping on a bench!!!
I feel better knowing that she is okay and that she sounded good. But I am sad for her. I love her dearly and just want her to be okay. I haven't cried in a couple of weeks and now I am balling like a baby. As I type the tears are flowing!!! It was 18 years ago that I gave birth to this beautiful little angel and it tears my heart apart that she is now a complete mess!!! I am glad that she came here when we weren't home. I am afraid to see her. I am afraid of what she looks like. I am afraid of what she is doing to herself. If she does come home again I have no choice but to call the police and report her. That will break my heart but I have to do it. We have a court date on Friday for Family Court. It is to close out her case as she is now 18. I can't very well allow her to come home and not report her. I pray that she will be picked up soon. I pray that she will hit her bottom, get tired of living like this and make a real effort to change her life. At this point that's all I can do, pray!!! Please God take care of my little girl.
Thanks for listening.
Shawna
She called back and said that she just left the house. I asked her how on earth she got in. She swore up and down that the door was open??? I swear we locked it when we left. She promised that she didn't take anything that did not belong to her. She just came to get some of her clothes. She again told me quite a few times how much she loved me. Like a knift right through the heart!!! I told her that I loved her very much and when she was ready to turn her life around I would be here for her. She said she knew that.
I was afraid to come home. I didn't want to find that she had taken anything. To my surprise it doesn't look like anything is missing. She took clothes, a brush, her curling iron, blow dryer and her toothbrush. I am assuming that she is staying in someone's house if she took all that stuff. I think she is where she was the last time she went missing. At some guys apartment in the Bronx. She once told me that it was a dump and this guy is on welfare and lets anyone live with him. At least she isn't sleeping on a bench!!!
I feel better knowing that she is okay and that she sounded good. But I am sad for her. I love her dearly and just want her to be okay. I haven't cried in a couple of weeks and now I am balling like a baby. As I type the tears are flowing!!! It was 18 years ago that I gave birth to this beautiful little angel and it tears my heart apart that she is now a complete mess!!! I am glad that she came here when we weren't home. I am afraid to see her. I am afraid of what she looks like. I am afraid of what she is doing to herself. If she does come home again I have no choice but to call the police and report her. That will break my heart but I have to do it. We have a court date on Friday for Family Court. It is to close out her case as she is now 18. I can't very well allow her to come home and not report her. I pray that she will be picked up soon. I pray that she will hit her bottom, get tired of living like this and make a real effort to change her life. At this point that's all I can do, pray!!! Please God take care of my little girl.
Thanks for listening.
Shawna