Today's meeting with the (name of town) Mental Health CSW.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by nerfherder, Apr 16, 2013.

  1. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    Synopsis: The CSW is going to try and light a fire under Kiddo's Regional Center CSW/Service Provider. Kiddo needs to be in a group home, and there needs to be some kind of serious behavioral intervention started.

    I described my/our situation, and after listening she commented "I feel like _I_ got tired just listening to what you have to do!" She noted that in the case of the tantrums, if Kiddo were closer to typically functional she'd suggest calling the sheriff just to protect ourselves from legal problems when she gets out of control - but she acknowledged that Kiddo's not going to understand what's going on, and they'd stop coming by anyway if it happened too frequently.

    I think (like hearing the marriage counselor say to DEX "B____, you are NOT playing with a full deck!" during our last effort to see if there was anything in the marriage worth saving,) the best part of this intake evaluation was hearing from someone else that yes - I am justified in thinking that getting her placed out is a reasonable AND necessary outcome. Objectively I do think that's so, but emotionally the Knowing that I can't be Super High Functioning Adept SuperMom nails me a lot.

    It really, really helped to hear HER describe some of the Why's of Kiddo being placed ASAP before I got them out of my mouth. And funny - we were BOTH struggling to remember Praeder-Willi, and could NOT do it. Until she was talking about a similar case she'd dealt with, and I blurted it out - and she said "No, that's not his name." And we both cracked up. :)

    So she's going to get me the number of someone she knows and trusts that has a Financial Guardianship business, she's going to put some pressure on D. S. the Regional Center caseworker to get things happening, she's going to see what services we can get through her office - line me up with the paperwork people to help with the Guardianship and Medicaid forms, and (It's a LONG wait, though, she said) line us up with a psychiatric evaluation to see if there's appropriate medications to drop Kiddo's anxiety and reactive behavior level down to something I can live with until a group home opens up.

    So things still kinda the same, but things might be looking up. Time will tell.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You know you're the parent of a difficult child when you even have a concept of what a Super High Functioning Adept SuperMom would even be like.

    Tough decisions.
    I know a family that had to do this for slightly different reasons - no violence, but they couldn't maintain the extremely rigid structure she needed - and the mom said that the first year was hard on both sides, but it's been quite a few years now, and it works well for them. Their difficult child doesn't even come home - they go visit her.

  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a mixed bag of emotions you must's so good that your feelings were heard and acknowledged by another, I understand how much that helps having gone through that myself with my daughter. Although on one level it makes everything more 'real' it's a relief to have it all 'justified.' Sigh. It's tough, but you have a long time to get used to the idea too. You're doing everything possible for your daughter and hopefully this will all pan out at the right time for you and she, giving you freedom and her safety.
  4. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    This has been running through my mind, this morning.

    It helps me when things overwhelm.

    It's from Shakespeare, actually. From Hamlet.

    "For this relief much thanks; 'tis bitter cold, and I am sick at heart."

    I don't know why it is, but I can sometimes take comfort from that one.

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you and to your child, Nerfherder.

    It sucks, doesn't it.