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Substance Abuse
Tomorrow son turns 22
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 695919" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Hi Colleen. Hang on. This is the hardest-what we want and think is good for them vs. what they want. </p><p></p><p>Please try to remember feelings aren't facts--I think this gets at a mom's heart worst of all-we specialize in emotions. It helped me to look at my son's situation more as my hubby did with an "if that, then this" perspective. If he doesn't get loans-he won't go to university. You have taken many positive steps to loft him. He's out of house (be sure he is clearly understanding that he is now just "visiting your air con"). You made him aware you will give food but not $. All are steps to go on with your own life, as you should. He may need to support himself awhile to ever appreciate the doors an education opens. </p><p>You are such a loving mom, possibly now what he needs is a tough mom, one who holds the line. You can do this, it's time to be good to yourself, your husband, your future. </p><p>A therapist once asked us "do you really want to be still doing this in 10 years?" We were horrified at the thought. If not now-then when?</p><p></p><p>We often can't change situations, but you can change YOU. Do something new and different, get busy to clear your worried mind. You're so worth it. We are stronger together-if you hang on, someone else will grab a thread and feel like they can. Prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 695919, member: 20054"] Hi Colleen. Hang on. This is the hardest-what we want and think is good for them vs. what they want. Please try to remember feelings aren't facts--I think this gets at a mom's heart worst of all-we specialize in emotions. It helped me to look at my son's situation more as my hubby did with an "if that, then this" perspective. If he doesn't get loans-he won't go to university. You have taken many positive steps to loft him. He's out of house (be sure he is clearly understanding that he is now just "visiting your air con"). You made him aware you will give food but not $. All are steps to go on with your own life, as you should. He may need to support himself awhile to ever appreciate the doors an education opens. You are such a loving mom, possibly now what he needs is a tough mom, one who holds the line. You can do this, it's time to be good to yourself, your husband, your future. A therapist once asked us "do you really want to be still doing this in 10 years?" We were horrified at the thought. If not now-then when? We often can't change situations, but you can change YOU. Do something new and different, get busy to clear your worried mind. You're so worth it. We are stronger together-if you hang on, someone else will grab a thread and feel like they can. Prayers. [/QUOTE]
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Tomorrow son turns 22
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