Too bad I dont drink!- Vent

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Dara, Aug 18, 2008.

  1. Dara

    Dara New Member

    I have had enough! I think I am going to lose my mind! Sammy has been off of school for 2 weeks and the first week was good. We actually had a very good time together. Last week was the complete opposite. He acted up in front of my sister in law for the very first time. She was so upset by his behavior that she just hugged me and said "I am so sorry". The next day was just as bad. The noises and fake language were driving me batty. They didnt stop. I finally called his therapist so I wouldnt kill him! While talking to his therapist, I told Sammy to get out of the car and what was his response "no" so I said fine stay there. his therapist kind of laughed and said everything is a battle isnt it and I said YEP! Thursday we went to the Psychiatirist and he said all of the noises and stuff are self stimulant and we have to control his lack of impulse control before we get anything else under control. I thought I would feel better after him telling me that it is not my fault and I am not the cause of any of this or making it worse. Or that his behavior with me is just a very bad habit that is very hard to break would also make me feel better but it doesnt. I am jealous of my husband who can take Sammy anywhere and do anything with him and he is great. I want that! I want to be able to take him places with no tantrums and not get beaten to a pulp. Today we went to the grocery store. The one with the carts just for him because he puts everything in his cart and its cute! We were getting everything for his lunch for school this week. He was doing great until it was time to pay. he went nuts. So crazed in fact that the entire store (I am not kidding) stopped stared and said oh my god! Because he was thrashing, hitting trying to bite me. I had to leave the cart, pick him up in one arm and carry him to the car. I cried on the way home. I am so worn out emotionally and physically. Even the simplist task is a challenge. I dont know how much more I can take. Something has to give. At least the psychiatrist understands my emotions with this. I told him I feel so buried from the non stop drama in our lives starting 5 years ago with my fathers death than my mothers death and then all of Sammy's issues and then husband Multiple Sclerosis and now his new job where he has to travel 1 week of every month to him not getting home until almost 8pm. The dr said Sammy's issues could bury you alone. To add to the frustration of today, the dog wont poop. She wont get her paws wet and now of course it just rained again so guess who will be cleaning up vomit at 4 am... Back to Sammy and me, I know its not my fault but what do I do? Get plastic surgery on my face, get a voice changer, move out? thisis crazy! My mere presence sets him off! We always joked about it but it really isnt funny! I dont know..It all gets to be too much sometimes!
  2. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I always say that very same thing, except the other night I did drink!!! lol

    Oh, hun you sound exhausted and at your whits end. I am so sorry you are having such a hard time with Sammy and everything else you have had to endure. Life stinks sometimes!!!

    Sammy's behavior is absolutely NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!
    He behaves worse for you because he is comfortable with you and knows you wont reject him no matter what he does. Ironically, it is actually an honor. One I'm sure you don't want right now. He knows you love him unconditionally and he can be himself around you. I know, lucky you - right??? It stinks. You are a good mom. You need to somehow find an outlet for you. Are you in therapy?

    I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Sending you big {{{HUGS}}}. Hang in there and God bless. :)
  3. GottaLoveEm!

    GottaLoveEm! Mom of 6


    I know it's a little late to comment now, but having been there myself (wishing for a way to escape from my troubles for a while) I just want to send you good wishes and love. I've had a day like no other today too. Sometimes it just seems like everything falls apart at the same time...Such high expectations for me with the first day of school...15 year old angel here, but dealing with 9 year old damaged soul...

    It's very tiring and overwhelming. Tomorrow's another day, and that means there's hope. I hope so, anyway....

    So tired, so wrung out. Hang in there and I will too and we will eventually be successful.

  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhh, Dara, I hear you! I know exactly what you're going through.

    My only guess on what set him off at the grocery store is that you had to take the items away to pay for them. IOW, put them on the conveyor belt, which, to him, meant they were gone.

    Other than that, it's just another day at the zoo. :( So sorry. I really, really know what you're going through.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    ((((Hugs))))) I really hope tomorrow is a much better day-you are due!
  6. Dara

    Dara New Member

    Tomorrow will be better because he starts back at school. He kind of started a downward behavioral spiral about a week or so ago. So today was just the icing on the cake! I had t go back to the store after he went to bed...the last thing I wanted to do but he needed food for his lunch this week at school. I am going to bed.
    Thanks for the good thoughts! I think I have just hit stress overload and am hanging on by a very thin thread here!