Dara
New Member
I have had enough! I think I am going to lose my mind! Sammy has been off of school for 2 weeks and the first week was good. We actually had a very good time together. Last week was the complete opposite. He acted up in front of my sister in law for the very first time. She was so upset by his behavior that she just hugged me and said "I am so sorry". The next day was just as bad. The noises and fake language were driving me batty. They didnt stop. I finally called his therapist so I wouldnt kill him! While talking to his therapist, I told Sammy to get out of the car and what was his response "no" so I said fine stay there. his therapist kind of laughed and said everything is a battle isnt it and I said YEP! Thursday we went to the Psychiatirist and he said all of the noises and stuff are self stimulant and we have to control his lack of impulse control before we get anything else under control. I thought I would feel better after him telling me that it is not my fault and I am not the cause of any of this or making it worse. Or that his behavior with me is just a very bad habit that is very hard to break would also make me feel better but it doesnt. I am jealous of my husband who can take Sammy anywhere and do anything with him and he is great. I want that! I want to be able to take him places with no tantrums and not get beaten to a pulp. Today we went to the grocery store. The one with the carts just for him because he puts everything in his cart and its cute! We were getting everything for his lunch for school this week. He was doing great until it was time to pay. he went nuts. So crazed in fact that the entire store (I am not kidding) stopped stared and said oh my god! Because he was thrashing, hitting trying to bite me. I had to leave the cart, pick him up in one arm and carry him to the car. I cried on the way home. I am so worn out emotionally and physically. Even the simplist task is a challenge. I dont know how much more I can take. Something has to give. At least the psychiatrist understands my emotions with this. I told him I feel so buried from the non stop drama in our lives starting 5 years ago with my fathers death than my mothers death and then all of Sammy's issues and then husband Multiple Sclerosis and now his new job where he has to travel 1 week of every month to him not getting home until almost 8pm. The dr said Sammy's issues could bury you alone. To add to the frustration of today, the dog wont poop. She wont get her paws wet and now of course it just rained again so guess who will be cleaning up vomit at 4 am... Back to Sammy and me, I know its not my fault but what do I do? Get plastic surgery on my face, get a voice changer, move out? thisis crazy! My mere presence sets him off! We always joked about it but it really isnt funny! I dont know..It all gets to be too much sometimes!
