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Too much praise leads to narcissism?
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 651104" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Nomad, I have read up on this extensively.</p><p>I am referring here to clinical narcissism, but this could possibly apply to children in the school system, because the best theory is one that posits one parent being absent or semi-absent, and the other parent creating too much artificial praise and too much leeway to make up for it. There may be an underlying anxiety disorder that creates an opening for vulnerability. But much of it is created and situational rather than genetic.</p><p>So in the case of the school system, the school and teachers are the ones who overdo the praise, to make up for the absent parents.</p><p></p><p>Just to say that it's "too much praise" is too simplistic. I understand, but I don't fully agree.</p><p>It has to go back to HOW the praise is offered, and WHY, and by WHOM.</p><p></p><p>Otherwise, you have to start splitting hairs between being spoiled and being a bona fide, mentally ill narcissist. Narcissism is a spectrum, like other mental illnesses.</p><p></p><p>To explain: The one parent's absence creates a vacuum and a hole in the relationship, which creates insecurity. The other parent overdoes the praise to make up for it. The child gets an unbalanced view of life and themselves, which is sometimes reinforced if and when the other parent shows up, because that parent will either offer false, hollow praise out of guilt, or anger and criticism. </p><p></p><p>I know several people who are narcissists. One is so off-the-charts that she became an alcoholic and lost custody of her children. Her dad was highly critical. Her mom tried to smooth things over. Even as a small child she was starving for attention. She is now so mentally ill, she cannot hold a job.</p><p></p><p>Another person I know is highly functioning, but he receives a lot of praise for the type of work he does in the community. It feeds his ego. At home, he can be bossy and controlling, and then becomes defensive and even crumples under the least bit of criticism. He is on the lower end of the spectrum.</p><p></p><p>Another individual had an indulgent mom and dad, but they were both alcoholics and fought constantly. The dad was a workaholic (see the pattern here?) and the mother "made up the difference." Even after her marriage, and a half dozen children, this person called her mother every night. She could never parent properly because it always had to be about <em>her</em>. She also became an alcoholic (self-medicating).</p><p></p><p>Patients need deep, long therapy. Which they will probably never accept.</p><p></p><p>Whew! You really got me started. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> It is a fascinating topic, though. I think that a lot of big time politicians are narcissists. I'd be interested to know their family histories.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 651104, member: 3419"] Nomad, I have read up on this extensively. I am referring here to clinical narcissism, but this could possibly apply to children in the school system, because the best theory is one that posits one parent being absent or semi-absent, and the other parent creating too much artificial praise and too much leeway to make up for it. There may be an underlying anxiety disorder that creates an opening for vulnerability. But much of it is created and situational rather than genetic. So in the case of the school system, the school and teachers are the ones who overdo the praise, to make up for the absent parents. Just to say that it's "too much praise" is too simplistic. I understand, but I don't fully agree. It has to go back to HOW the praise is offered, and WHY, and by WHOM. Otherwise, you have to start splitting hairs between being spoiled and being a bona fide, mentally ill narcissist. Narcissism is a spectrum, like other mental illnesses. To explain: The one parent's absence creates a vacuum and a hole in the relationship, which creates insecurity. The other parent overdoes the praise to make up for it. The child gets an unbalanced view of life and themselves, which is sometimes reinforced if and when the other parent shows up, because that parent will either offer false, hollow praise out of guilt, or anger and criticism. I know several people who are narcissists. One is so off-the-charts that she became an alcoholic and lost custody of her children. Her dad was highly critical. Her mom tried to smooth things over. Even as a small child she was starving for attention. She is now so mentally ill, she cannot hold a job. Another person I know is highly functioning, but he receives a lot of praise for the type of work he does in the community. It feeds his ego. At home, he can be bossy and controlling, and then becomes defensive and even crumples under the least bit of criticism. He is on the lower end of the spectrum. Another individual had an indulgent mom and dad, but they were both alcoholics and fought constantly. The dad was a workaholic (see the pattern here?) and the mother "made up the difference." Even after her marriage, and a half dozen children, this person called her mother every night. She could never parent properly because it always had to be about [I]her[/I]. She also became an alcoholic (self-medicating). Patients need deep, long therapy. Which they will probably never accept. Whew! You really got me started. :) It is a fascinating topic, though. I think that a lot of big time politicians are narcissists. I'd be interested to know their family histories. [/QUOTE]
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