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Too true!
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 657757" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>It is absolutely manipulation! I'm not saying it isn't.</p><p></p><p>He knows he can call and ask me for stuff and I'm MUCH more likely to say yes. He knows if he cries and carries on and tells me how sad he is and how awful his life is and how he has no one and nothing, it will rip mom's heart out. Dad, not so much. Maybe he thinks is a macho thing and dad will tell him to man-up. Funny, since I'm the one who has used the words "grow a pair". In fact, last time we actually spoke and I ended up calling Jabber to tell him he wasn't coming to do his community service, my words were, "Fine! I'll call him since you're too much of a p***y to call your own father!" His response was, "He'll just yell at me and blah, blah, blah" and I responded with "WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?"</p><p></p><p>But he still called me. And guess what? I did what he wanted...I called his dad...and he didn't have to.</p><p></p><p>He calls me because it works. And yes, because it's habit.</p><p></p><p>So you see, I don't disagree that it's manipulation. My only problem is with it being something to turn Jabber into the "classic evil stepparent". </p><p></p><p>For starters, he's NOT his stepparent - he's his parent. Adopted is NOT step. </p><p></p><p>It hurts me that our son always calls me and puts me in between the two of them. It also hurts me that Jabber feels that he isn't loved by our son and that our son is that...mean? I don't have a good word for it. Thoughtless? Yes. Self-serving? Yes. Hateful and intentionally targeting HIM? No.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 657757, member: 17309"] It is absolutely manipulation! I'm not saying it isn't. He knows he can call and ask me for stuff and I'm MUCH more likely to say yes. He knows if he cries and carries on and tells me how sad he is and how awful his life is and how he has no one and nothing, it will rip mom's heart out. Dad, not so much. Maybe he thinks is a macho thing and dad will tell him to man-up. Funny, since I'm the one who has used the words "grow a pair". In fact, last time we actually spoke and I ended up calling Jabber to tell him he wasn't coming to do his community service, my words were, "Fine! I'll call him since you're too much of a p***y to call your own father!" His response was, "He'll just yell at me and blah, blah, blah" and I responded with "WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?" But he still called me. And guess what? I did what he wanted...I called his dad...and he didn't have to. He calls me because it works. And yes, because it's habit. So you see, I don't disagree that it's manipulation. My only problem is with it being something to turn Jabber into the "classic evil stepparent". For starters, he's NOT his stepparent - he's his parent. Adopted is NOT step. It hurts me that our son always calls me and puts me in between the two of them. It also hurts me that Jabber feels that he isn't loved by our son and that our son is that...mean? I don't have a good word for it. Thoughtless? Yes. Self-serving? Yes. Hateful and intentionally targeting HIM? No. [/QUOTE]
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