Took difficult child to the doctor today...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by flutterbee, Oct 22, 2007.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    for her various aches and pains and to talk to the doctor about difficult child's medication refusal. This was the pediatrician doctor not psychiatrist. The doctor explained that depression can cause aches and pains and/or make them worse and the medications will help with that. difficult child still insisted she won't take it. difficult child claims she's not depressed because she's not feeling sad. The doctor and I explained that the irritability, low frustration threshold, sleeping 12-16 hours a day and aches and pain are symptoms of depression, too. But, what do we know. Apparently nothing. Just ask difficult child.

    The doctor also wants her to see a rheumatologist. She's convinced that I have some rheumatic issues and since they can be hereditary she wants her checked, so we'll both be going to a rheumy. She did talk to difficult child again before doing a blood draw about taking medication. She explained if she found anything then difficult child may very well have to take medication and asked difficult child if she would be willing to do that; otherwise there was no point to the blood draw. difficult child said maybe. I swear, this kid is so headstrong in her own self-defeat.

    Anyway, difficult child has had 2 blood draws this year so she's ok now with that. She was refusing shots - and she's due for tetanus, plus the doctor wants to do meningitis and guardasil (sp?). We did one shot today, with difficult child in tears and refusal, but not meltdown so that's good. However, the blood draw ended up being worse. The nurse missed the vein and instead of resticking, she was moving the needle around inside difficult child's arm. When she did finally get the vein, the blood was just trickling out and she had to fill 3 vials. difficult child has a nice black and blue bruise on her arm. Guess what we're living and breathing tonight?

    So, the appointment was a wash. We got the blood draw, a vaccine, and a referral to a specialist. Still no lexapro, though. No meltdown or raging over the shot, so that's improvement.

    I'm just frustrated. I've been frustrated ever since we got home. I know first hand what it's like to live with untreated depression. But mine wasn't treated because noone took me to a therapist or anything until I was 16...and then I only got 15 visits. difficult child has all of these services available to her and refuses to do anything to try to help herself.
  2. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I have a easy child that won't take medications for the most part. When I couldn't take it I asked her why. She said that she didn't want to get addicted (she is in sports and is very healthy really). I told her that with her anxiety if she didn't get it under control it could lead to trouble. I asked if she would consider one of the herbs (St. Johns Wort, Valerian something of that sort.) to help. She said she would try that. We went with cranberry in capsules when she was getting UTIs all the time. She is just opposed to medications. She also just had some oral surgery and they gave her codiene afterward and we discovered her first allergy.

    So what I am getting at is I am not sure why yours won't take medications if it is control or if their is something else going on. Just trying to think of a different way you might help her. Or at least rationalize (I know not likely with difficult children) it out with her.

  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry the blood draw was so hard! I can understand your frustration. It's hard when they can't see something might help. I remember when I first felt easy child was depressed and so did our in home therapists for difficult child. easy child wouldn't listen and refused until one day I asked her to answer some questions off a depression screener I found on line for teens. After answering the questions she decided to go to the doctors and is now taking medications.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I can only imagine how frustrating it is to know that she needs the medications but her refusal stays in place. I can't recall (sorry) why she doesn't want to take the medications. Her profile still shows lexapro.

  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    One of her diagnosis's states Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) - is swallowing a pill bothersome to her. Contributing to her Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)?

    Just wondering of that's the case.

    As you know, the world as kt knows it, stops until medications are taken. After doing this for god knows how many years, kt just takes her medications. The one medication she hate (the taste) we help with giving her cider or juice to down with.

    Good luck - keep us updated on the tests & such.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So sorry, Heather.
    I hate it when nurses do that! Ew.
    I'm glad your difficult child didn't melt down.
    You never know, there could be some rheumatology issues going on. It's worth a try.
    I hope everyone got sleep last night.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I have no idea why nurses do that. I had one lab tech stick a vein into a tendon in my arm. It was hard, like a pencil running up na ddonw the inside of my arm. I was only 15 and made her leave. Said I would callthe head of hte hospital if she didn't. So I guess my mom understood headstrong kids, LOL!!!

    No help other than to make the world stop. I have all of mine trained that if mom gives you medications and you argue the entire day will stink. I cancel ALL sports, etc... and often will drag the child to go do something they HATE if I am up to it and can think of something. Learned the last with my difficult child.

    I always fear the refusal if they are in need of medications for an infection or something life threatening.

    My kids won't take medications for Gpa, unless they know I sent them. OR he calls me. Gma they will take medications for. Dad they argue sometimes. Other than that they just won't take it. Can remember a doctor's office visit where a nurse tried to give them soemthing. I am sure it was fine, but difficult child would not take it, had it down his shirt because they tried to force it in his mouth. I was telling them to stop, but nurse was difficult child also. Afterward my difficult child said she came in with medication and didn't even show it to mom so I didn't know if it was OK. He was 3. I check ALL medications at night to make sure we are set for the next day.

    Good luck,

  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I really hope you figure out how to help her see that she needs this and they might indeed help her...

    I hate hearing those stories about people who stopped their medications... and just refuse to live life. She could possibly be having a positive happy life... with medications and therapies.

    You just want to shake her.

    It was even like husband, well you feel like this and this... not good, right? well the doctor says the medicine could help? Lets try, I don't want to... WHY??? Now he is taking Lexapro and he feels so much better!!!

    It scares me when K says she is tired of taking her medications... so far I have been able to explain it to her, and keep her taking them...

    Good luck, when you figure it out I am printing the page off for my future battles!!!
  9. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    The Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) issues do come into play when it comes to taking pills. However, lexapro is a little pill and she put it into a spoonful of pudding and never noticed it. It's a control issue, I have to believe. I think she feels so out of control with her life that she is desperately trying to control the things that she feels she can. She just doesn't realize she's shooting herself in the foot in the process.

    I second-guess myself everyday. I've forced the issue - made medications non-negotiable - only to end up back where we started. I've tried talking, explaining, reasoning to no avail.

    I really want her to understand that she needs to help herself, but I'm fooling myself. Because of her executive function disorders, she has zero insight. I want her to understand the why of it. Afterall, I can force the medication issue, but I can't force her to participate in therapy and it is a package deal. I thought if I could make her understand...I don't know what I thought.

    Bottom line is...she no longer has a choice. She's taking the medications come hell or high water, as my grandmother says.
  10. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    part of the depression is refusing help. your child doesnt care to get help. it means more reacting with people for the depressed person, more leaving their womb of choice.

    I lived with a depressed man for 32 yrs. it is very hard on the extended family to live with a person who is sad and cannot be cheered up.
    be sure to keep lots of light on her. they sell special ones for that.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So sorry, Heather, that is so frustrating. Wish I could help.