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Substance Abuse
Torn btwn Husband & Addicted Daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusyMe" data-source="post: 667980" data-attributes="member: 18777"><p>Hi Proudmama,</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for your pain. I also live in Ontario and experienced the similar issues. I want to share the key points that helped me to go through this:</p><p></p><p>1. Nobody in this country care about you as a parent. There are help for abused woman my man, kids, dogs, cats... BUT nobody care about abused parents by teens. Police, hospital, CAS - they all have their own priorities and in many cases they even do not care about your child. Therefore, you should put yourself first. My own goal now is to raise my child till 18 without me getting into health problems or any issues with law. I will do my best to help my child BUT I will care about myself.</p><p>2. Your marriage extremely important! My hubby is very similar and the best that I can do it not get him involved in this situation. Give him time, do not talk to him about your child, go and do something together. Wait... I know it is very hard but at least it helps in my case. My hubby will never go to any talk therapy.</p><p>3. Learn how to stay calm in any situation. It helped me so much when I learn it. Minimum words, calm face and voice.</p><p>4. Call police any time when the law is broken. I know many times they do nothing or may even start to accuse you but still call. Do not take very seriously when a police office tell their personal opinion. These calls might help you in the future.</p><p>5. Keep your boundaries with your child. Only simple food and a mattress is required by law and the rest are privileges.</p><p>6. Did you try to do drug testing? I refused to replace my child broken cell phone till the drug test become clean. It took half year till my child finally agreed on test and took another several months till the test come clean. You can buy them on amazon.</p><p>7. Try to talk to your child friend parents. I found that at least some parents are reasonable and can help. Some are useless and allow drug usage in their garages and basements. But at least you can state your opinion about drugs and let them know that your are working with police.</p><p>8. There are several parent groups of trouble teens here in ontario. I suggest you to try them. It helped me!</p><p>9. Try to bind with your child when she is not under influence. Try to make her talk about anything and just sit and listen, listen and listen and do not judge at all. This was the first step for us.</p><p>10. There are several agencies here in Ontario that work with trouble teens. Look at 360kids. Most of them just do counselling that my child refused but some helps with part-time job, help with youth housing.</p><p></p><p>Good luck and put yourself first!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusyMe, post: 667980, member: 18777"] Hi Proudmama, I am so sorry for your pain. I also live in Ontario and experienced the similar issues. I want to share the key points that helped me to go through this: 1. Nobody in this country care about you as a parent. There are help for abused woman my man, kids, dogs, cats... BUT nobody care about abused parents by teens. Police, hospital, CAS - they all have their own priorities and in many cases they even do not care about your child. Therefore, you should put yourself first. My own goal now is to raise my child till 18 without me getting into health problems or any issues with law. I will do my best to help my child BUT I will care about myself. 2. Your marriage extremely important! My hubby is very similar and the best that I can do it not get him involved in this situation. Give him time, do not talk to him about your child, go and do something together. Wait... I know it is very hard but at least it helps in my case. My hubby will never go to any talk therapy. 3. Learn how to stay calm in any situation. It helped me so much when I learn it. Minimum words, calm face and voice. 4. Call police any time when the law is broken. I know many times they do nothing or may even start to accuse you but still call. Do not take very seriously when a police office tell their personal opinion. These calls might help you in the future. 5. Keep your boundaries with your child. Only simple food and a mattress is required by law and the rest are privileges. 6. Did you try to do drug testing? I refused to replace my child broken cell phone till the drug test become clean. It took half year till my child finally agreed on test and took another several months till the test come clean. You can buy them on amazon. 7. Try to talk to your child friend parents. I found that at least some parents are reasonable and can help. Some are useless and allow drug usage in their garages and basements. But at least you can state your opinion about drugs and let them know that your are working with police. 8. There are several parent groups of trouble teens here in ontario. I suggest you to try them. It helped me! 9. Try to bind with your child when she is not under influence. Try to make her talk about anything and just sit and listen, listen and listen and do not judge at all. This was the first step for us. 10. There are several agencies here in Ontario that work with trouble teens. Look at 360kids. Most of them just do counselling that my child refused but some helps with part-time job, help with youth housing. Good luck and put yourself first! [/QUOTE]
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