Total bust of an IEP meeting

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Running_for_the_shelter, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. I'm pretty much just bitterly griping in this post, which is why I'm sticking it here rather than under Special Education. difficult child has been a huge PITA lately. We've tried messing with his drugs but this hasn't worked yet. He's even been far enough gone to get into it physically with me and he never wins that. Screamed his head off in his room yesterday for what seemed like ages; I'm amazed no one called the cops. Maybe they did and the cops just didn't care.

    Anyway, no one would remember this, but about four years ago (when difficult child was about to go into Kindergarten), I had the school district test him. He came up with "Within Normal Limits" for everything, even though he had been kicked out of private schools and had all sorts of sound sensitivities etc. Well, fine, whatever. They hadn't seen him rage; we had. We've dealt with his issues and problems at school for a while now -- spouse even quit his job to be available.

    Well, difficult child has been suspended a couple of times now this year and has a stack of reports against him. To their credit, the school district actually volunteered to do their full battery of testing on him. Today was the meeting to discuss the results. I didn't expect them to offer anything because difficult child doesn't fit neatly into any one category. I know he has ADHD traits, Aspergers traits, ED traits, you name it ... he has a bunch of traits but not enough to make the label stick.

    Unsurprisingly, they couldn't come up with any reason to give him Special Education. OK, fine, he's not eligible for anything. So stop suspending him already, OK? Find another way to deal with him. Much fumbling. They want me to send him to social skills classes somewhere. [His doctor doesn't think it will do much for him.] OK, you want me to do something whether it's going to do any good or not. I get that, fine. So what are you going to do tomorrow to help him not whack somebody or handle him when he does? He can hang out in the office instead of going to recess or lunch. OK, well, it's better than letting him run amok with the masses and getting another suspension.

    Yeah, we already called the doctor to get whatever pieces of paper I need for the next evaluation. Know who to call for an advocate since clearly I'll be needing one at some point. I know all this, but I am tired and crabby. It's not like I want my kid to be slapped with a label that may get him services now but may cause him more grief later, but I would just like something to work. I can only chant "9 more years" a certain number of times.

    OK, I'm done grousing now.
  2. Autismkids

    Autismkids Member

    Your district is denying your son his FAPE. There is no reason they can't classify him as "other health impaired" or "muliiple disabilities." Under his classification would some kind of "special interest" heading with input from docs (so autistic traits, ODD, etc.). If you don't know about, read up on PWN, prior written notice. Your district must provide PWN for any service proposed or denied, but none of them do.

    My district denied 4 items/services. I sent a PWN request and the school psychiatric called and told me "we can add those things to the IEP, it's not a problem!" I WAS a problem when I proposed the items a month prior.

    Sorry you're having a hard time with difficult child and the school.
  3. Alttlgabby

    Alttlgabby New Member

    Okay.. my freaking rant! Two glasses of wine, 3 hours of studying and making notes, and two weeks worth of just pure defiance from difficult child does not make me a very happy Mommy. I wish these stupid schools would have a much better criteria for these kids!!! They do not realize that there are soooooo many kids out there these days that require special attention and NEED to be on an IEP! Too much **** being added to foods, many more diagnoses coming out of the woodwork for these kids. These poor little guys and girls need help and are literally screaming for it! They don't know how to handle themselves "properly" so they lash out. I have one who has gone on medications, but for some reason or other, she is being VERY defiant the last two weeks. She is already on an IEP with an upcoming meeting for 2/12... and even before then, I will be asking for her to be pulled weekly for counseling sessions. ANYTHING to help her and I will advocate for her until I am blue in the face! Nuf said!! You go girl and get your baby some any manner you can! Good Luck to you!
  4. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I feel your pain. Having a difficult child that doesn't fit neatly into one category or another. I still deal with it at 25.
    He functions too well to be comfortable with the average group of disabled. He doesn't function well enough to be mainstream. He is mature enough to know he doesn't fit anywhere.

    Just keep working through the system and advocate for him. by the way, social skills class was like paying to have a play group. They taught, he just didn't get it. Guess what he does every other saturday? Social skills group. Yep at 25 he still tries to figure out what he should do to fit in. It's like putting a band aid on a gunshot wound but if I don't give it a try, then I have nothing to help him.