With the tutor, I would just tell difficult child she didn't have to shower and if she wanted to smell when the tutor got here, that was her problem. I honestly would not make that my problem.
Same thing with the homework from the tutor and the therapist. Let difficult child go in without her homework and face the consequence and let them see how she really is. I would tell them that difficult child just refused to do it, even though you tried hard to get her to. The more they see you cooperating and difficult child resisting, the more they will be able to help all of you. Or realize they are out of their league and she needs further help. I bet the therapist is used to kids not doing their homework. If they were quick to comply, they wouldn't be his clients.
Same thing with the homework from the tutor and the therapist. Let difficult child go in without her homework and face the consequence and let them see how she really is. I would tell them that difficult child just refused to do it, even though you tried hard to get her to. The more they see you cooperating and difficult child resisting, the more they will be able to help all of you. Or realize they are out of their league and she needs further help. I bet the therapist is used to kids not doing their homework. If they were quick to comply, they wouldn't be his clients.