total defiance

Josie

Active Member
With the tutor, I would just tell difficult child she didn't have to shower and if she wanted to smell when the tutor got here, that was her problem. I honestly would not make that my problem.

Same thing with the homework from the tutor and the therapist. Let difficult child go in without her homework and face the consequence and let them see how she really is. I would tell them that difficult child just refused to do it, even though you tried hard to get her to. The more they see you cooperating and difficult child resisting, the more they will be able to help all of you. Or realize they are out of their league and she needs further help. I bet the therapist is used to kids not doing their homework. If they were quick to comply, they wouldn't be his clients.
 

Jena

New Member
yea all great ideas. i'l have to sleep on it. easy child's therapist is thinking of a therapist here for me in new york that mainly handles me working with difficult child kinda stuff. it's only going to get harder from here as she grows older now her defiance level is really peeking to something i honestly didnt' expect it's almost at a full teen's level. with my kids their strong, if you do the toe to toe you wont' win you truly wont'. their fear it just isn't there never was.

yet if you negotiate without them realizing that's what your doing it's key. i think i'm just really sleepy right now and not getting enough of a weekly cup fillup at this point to tackle difficult child and do it well. i have to say this if they walk into this world the two of mine cleaned up for the most part, meaning ok this is how we'll self maintenance care and they can get independent they'll be some very strong woman. that i'm glad of, that's the one point i am really really glad about.

its' upsetting me though a bit that easy child's had this imbalance all her life and never brought it to my attention. i'm sooo glad she's anti up with therapist so now moving forward to college she can get the interventions she needs. i think the pysch doctor years ago was wrong with-me. i think i'm total adhd across the board. i fit it perfectly. i cant' talk to more than one person or in a crowded room its' a challenge just to name one thing i struggle with. food shopping's a problem we order in now and have remedied that, drive thru's freak me out lol. having to know what to get and the pressure of time.

its' funny kind of sorry i'm writing alot, i'm the one out of the line up of family members in denial who took the time, took kids to doctor's.....while my family sits by and says what? your kidding as my mom's spraying the doorknob with lysol my brother (23 year old) is washing his hands for the 50th time and checking bolts and locks on his bedroom door after rearranging everything on his dresser LOL my both aunts are alcoholics, my mom is also. it's just really funny.

they all wonder why do we self medicate, why do we not achieve anything in our lives, why do we this that and the other? my cousin who is closest to my age recently past 5 years admitted she is an alchoholic. my oh my and not one individual ever said hmm let's get tested?? i mean seriously ppl!!!
 
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