Thanks everyone!
Momto3: Normally when cops come, difficult child ends up with more happening. He was tdo'd 10 days ago. He's been arrested a few times in the past. A report is always written and then difficult child finds out from PO and/or judge if he's put back in detention, on a monitor, etc.
Re. mania vs bad conduct - that is what is sometimes difficult to distinguish- even for psychiatrist. difficult child first exhibited signs like this 3 years ago. at that time, we did deal with it as bad behavior and it kept getting worse. It was only after it suddenly stopped, then started again the following year, and a pattern was noticed, along with picking up on other signs of instability that the diagnosis changed and we are dealing with it differently now.
Still, there are times when he just does something wrong- every action he makes is not a direct result of mental illness, I'm sure. But, in periods of instability, the "strange" behavior can be there intermittently and sometimes things can "jolt" difficult child into calming down for a bit. But, it will come back until that period stops- either by medication changes or (I think) when the cycle just ends on it's own- change of season, maybe.
We are starting our 4th year with this- in some ways that makes me feel so worn down. In other ways, it helps to see such a pattern. What has been different this time is this usually doesn't start until later iin the winter. But, the depression in the fall was there again this year- and worse than usual and we tried medication changes that might have made things worse. And, there probably is some pushing of this by difficult child as he gets up in teen years and grows even bigger and stronger.
Neither psychiatrist nor another psychiatrist who evaluation'd difficult child as an MDE felt like there was indication of a personallity disorder. Of course, if aggression started becoming more predominant than other things or started being there even when mood cycling isn't happening, I think that would change. We'll just have to wait and see about that one. But, I know that both psychiatrists asked questions re. difficult child along those lines and he had a neuropsychologist evaluation/testing, school records have been reviewed etc. So, all things could change depending on how this develops.
EW: I think it's safe to say that if there is ever a repeat of this, it will be handled differently. difficult child knows I've always raised him where if he gets by with something once and he slides through that one, the next time he gets a pretty major warning and the stakes increase, then if it still happens, action is taken. This situation is obvioussly not typical- so I haven't handled it the same as if difficult child just disobeyed a house rule, but he still should know that he's never been able to just do whatever he wants and not expect anyone to do anything about it. Oddly enough, when difficult child is stable we do have conversations about this sort of thing and sometimes, it is difficult child who intiates the conversation. He has even stated that going to a psychiatric hospital for a few days does not help when he's having thoughts and temptations that he cannot control or that he's scared he will act on. With this one, obviously others are involved but I think they are thinking the same way I am about this. Unfortunately, I don't think difficult child can or would be moved from state psychiatric hospital if he went there.
I know nothing about his father's mental health history. Nothing would shock me in that regard- except that if there is an issue there, I would be shocked if he's getting treatment for it, or even realizes that he needs it.