Tough Day...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Dec 15, 2010.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Yesterday, DS had a follow-up appointment with the pediatrician reumatologist...
    The doctor wanted to take a sample of the fluid from his swollen knee - and the procedure hurt DS - a LOT! So he was crying and feeling bad...

    And of course my Mommy heart was feeling bad...

    We took DS home under doctor's orders to relax and take it easy for the rest of the day. We set DS up on the sofa with his blanket, and a drink, and a snack and a whole pile of stuffed animals and let him watch funny movies on television.

    I was drained. That was more stressful than I anticipated! As far as dinner or dishes or anything - well, I just wasn't up to it.

    Then difficult child arrived home...

    Well, she wants to know what I will give her for a class treat for the party?...
    And what am I making for dinner?...
    And even though she forgot to give me this important note about a school meeting two weeks ago, can I take care of it now?...
    And can she eat the leftover pork?...
    And what about making dip?...

    So basically - me! me! me! me! me!

    I told difficult child that it was kind of a hard day...I'm not sure about dinner right now....I'll have to take care of the note tomorrow...and I'll have to think about a class treat.

    difficult child is aggravated.

    She is hungry, so she pesters until I agree that she can have the leftover pork and sides. Does she offer to heat a plate for anyone else? Nope. And she explains that really, the leftover mashed potatoes and corn and pork is just enough for her because she is really hungry. Fine. Whatever.

    On his way home from work, husband calls to ask if I want him to bring home Chinese food. Heck yes!!!

    So husband arrives with food in hand...

    difficult child plops herself down at the table to enjoy her second dinner of the evening - and the first thing out of her mouth is "DS, get me something to drink."

    I told her DS would NOT be serving her this evening. If she wants a drink she can get it herself.

    Well, difficult child sat there with a big scowl on her face for the rest of the meal - and never did have anything to drink.

    After dinner, difficult child gets up and leaves the table.

    Doesn't even pick up after herself.

    This is so typical of difficult child - and I am not surprised....but I guess it just seems more hurtful when if she had even done a little something - it would have been so appreciated and made such a huge difference.

    Thanks for listening and understanding...
  2. Frazzledmom

    Frazzledmom Guest

    The self-centeredness makes me insane. We don't eat dinner as a family anymore because difficult child gave the rest of us indigestion. If I hear how wonderful it is to have family mealtimes one more time I'm going to scream!
  3. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Amen to that! None of my kids are home now but when the 3 of them were there we ate separately too and it worked out much better. Those smarmy commercials about how you should eat together as a family make me mad!
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I still insist we eat together at least once a week.

    If only to give Jett indigestion and tease Onyxx unmercifully.

    It's fun... To do it that way. Inevitably, there will be something on his plate Jett doesn't like. And he is STUCK at the table till he eats it. Like - 1/8 teaspoon of cranberry relish. I mean, literally he could smother it in one bite of stuffing, and never taste it. But he will eat EVERYTHING ELSE and then stare at it. The rule is - at least one bite of everything.

    Onyxx? Will slurp it down so it's done and over with!

    I'd considered Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), and tried to make things a bit easier, but was met with difficult child-like resistance. And comments about what I made for JETT - he just wouldn't eat next time. Umm... Yeah, bad move. Dis mama don' go dere. (Neither did husband...)

    But yeah, DF, I feel ya. Mememememememememememe! The heck with anyone else.

    Hugs - and I am glad husband had the idea for Chinese!!!
  5. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    I can't say that I ever remember feeling that I was the center of the universe. My mother made it pretty clear that she was. So many of our kids are unable to put themselves in another's shoes. I really feel for you DF.

    I remember a particularly painful episode when I had just received a phone call informing me that two of my relatives had just died (this right after having lost my mother and my in-laws in an eight month span). I picked my head up from the kitchen table and begged difficult child 2 to not run away again. Couldn't he see my grief? Couldn't he understand the value of family love? He demanded that husband drive him to the bottom of the hill, stating that family meant nothing to him.
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I agree with all of you that the me me me me attitude makes me crazy. It's a difficult child thing, I suspect, but how do you get them past it? At times I think that difficult child will always think that the other members of this family are here to serve him and for no other reason. One night at dinner difficult child finished his drink, put the glass in front of me and said, "I need more iced tea." Really?? I told him that was nice, and to get up and get it. His response was, "I can't. I'm eating." Well, you know what? So was I, and I was not going to get up because he was being too lazy to do it himself.

    The problem I have is that when something like this happens, easy child will say, "I'll do it." and gets up and does whatever difficult child wants. I keep telling easy child not to do that, but he's only six and doesn't seem to understand that difficult child is never going to learn that he can't boss everyone around, especially him, if he keeps doing difficult child's bidding.


  7. Jena

    Jena New Member

    just wanted to say i'm sorry your having a bad day. A pysch doctor once told me kids like our's fight to be the focus and are so incredibly defiant and control hungry because they feel so "out of control" with their brains flying twenty miles a minute so they try to control everything in their environment because they can't control themselves. made sense to me...... yet in all honesty it doesnt' help me in moments where i'm hurting badly and difficult child just keeps going LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ME. yup it sux and is tiring. that's when i lock myself in my bedroom and shut the whole family out for a few minutes.

  8. Frazzledmom

    Frazzledmom Guest

    My son informed me last night (before he BIKED to the movies in the freezing cold) that he would "let" me drive him to the movies IF I would let him get a tatoo. WHAT????? Can't even begin to understand that one and he was totally serious!
  9. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Thank you all so much for understanding...
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I absolutely hate that memememememememe stuff. Hugs.

    I had the Synvisc shots in my knees...three in each. OMG, it hurt so bad. I understand the poor guy's pain. How's DS feeling today, Daisy?
  11. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Thanks for asking!

    Not-so-funny story....our fridge has a water/ice dispenser in the door. It started leaking last night...

    So when DS got up this morning and went to the kitchen, he slipped in the puddle and landed right on his knee! OWWWEEEEE!!!!!

    So he needed some pain medications and we had him sit with a heating pad for a while...

    But he feels pretty good now this afternoon.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Poor DS!

    I so feel for him with the knees. I have had more stuff done to my knees...operations, needles putting stuff in and taking stuff out to last a lifetime but I know I am not done by any means. Give him a hug for me. Knees hurt!