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<blockquote data-quote="Kimsco" data-source="post: 762830" data-attributes="member: 28780"><p>So it’s now been six months since my 25 year old borderline daughter had her baby. None of my family including myself has even met the baby as all relationships have been strained/severed due to her actions. Out of nowhere I get a text “ I need to talk to you”. Come to find out her and the father were arrested for disturbing the peace and she was being placed in a domestic violence shelter. I told her it’s the best place for her. That they will give her and her son shelter, and guidance. To listen to them, adhere to the rules, and keep her focus on her baby. That we all love her and are praying for her. Again, there is no way we or anyone for that matter can take her in especially with her history…..Then the guilt sets in ….still makes me feel like the biggest jerk on earth. Yep, tell her we love her- then slam the door. I haven’t even gotten to meet my grandson as my relationship with my daughter is null. Yes of course I would love to, but fear that would complicate matters worse as SHE has to figure this out. My husband (her step dad) and I are not financially, physically or psychologically able to shelter and care for them yet I feel this guilt that I’m turning my back and am obligated simply because I’m mom/grandmom and that’s what family does and is SUPPOSED to do. I have to say these last six months although on one hand I ache and hurt and would love to meet my grandson, I have had a certain peace in my life since my daughter was not a part of it. No panic calls or texts, no screaming matches, no exhausting incidents and I feel terrible even admitting that, but it’s true- then I ask myself what kind of mom even says that???!! I feel helpless and don’t know what else to tell her. Not even sure how shelters work? Aren’t they only short term? What if all housing is at capacity? Do they then turn their backs too? Do they get her state assistance and long term housing? I am so overwhelmed, scared for them, love her so much, but absolutely helpless and deflated.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kimsco, post: 762830, member: 28780"] So it’s now been six months since my 25 year old borderline daughter had her baby. None of my family including myself has even met the baby as all relationships have been strained/severed due to her actions. Out of nowhere I get a text “ I need to talk to you”. Come to find out her and the father were arrested for disturbing the peace and she was being placed in a domestic violence shelter. I told her it’s the best place for her. That they will give her and her son shelter, and guidance. To listen to them, adhere to the rules, and keep her focus on her baby. That we all love her and are praying for her. Again, there is no way we or anyone for that matter can take her in especially with her history…..Then the guilt sets in ….still makes me feel like the biggest jerk on earth. Yep, tell her we love her- then slam the door. I haven’t even gotten to meet my grandson as my relationship with my daughter is null. Yes of course I would love to, but fear that would complicate matters worse as SHE has to figure this out. My husband (her step dad) and I are not financially, physically or psychologically able to shelter and care for them yet I feel this guilt that I’m turning my back and am obligated simply because I’m mom/grandmom and that’s what family does and is SUPPOSED to do. I have to say these last six months although on one hand I ache and hurt and would love to meet my grandson, I have had a certain peace in my life since my daughter was not a part of it. No panic calls or texts, no screaming matches, no exhausting incidents and I feel terrible even admitting that, but it’s true- then I ask myself what kind of mom even says that???!! I feel helpless and don’t know what else to tell her. Not even sure how shelters work? Aren’t they only short term? What if all housing is at capacity? Do they then turn their backs too? Do they get her state assistance and long term housing? I am so overwhelmed, scared for them, love her so much, but absolutely helpless and deflated. [/QUOTE]
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