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General Parenting
Toxic 15 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 680267" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/group-hug.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":group-hug:" title="group hug :group-hug:" data-shortname=":group-hug:" />Welcome, Chazmom. We understand your pain, we can help you survive, and hopefully get you onto a different path. </p><p></p><p>It is my opinion that boys and men hide their other "softer" feelings like hurt underneath a guise of anger. I think pasajes is right. #1 for you is for you to take care of YOU. Your son is bullying you. He desperately needs you to stop this anger/misery spin cycle that the two of you are on. The more sad and depressed you feel, the more out of control in his life he feels. </p><p></p><p>You absolutely have to stand up to him. You have to dig deep, find that inner angry mom, get mad at his depression, and take control. It will be difficult, but it can be done. It's not insurmountable. You can change how YOU interact with him. He will still be saying ugly and hurtful things, but you have to allow those nasty comments to bounce off you. You can feel all the hurt later when he isn't able to see the effects. By showing him strength you will light a small fire of hope inside him. </p><p></p><p>Children, especially teenagers, need to have strong parents. They are interacting more and more with the world and sometimes finding it to be a scary place. I think that's how your son feels. He's been targeted by bullies for being different, so he's now relishing his role. Then he comes home and attacks you in order to feel more powerful himself. </p><p></p><p>Does he have any outside interests? Are there any positive relationships that he can build on? </p><p></p><p>Keep talking to us. We understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 680267, member: 11832"] :group-hug:Welcome, Chazmom. We understand your pain, we can help you survive, and hopefully get you onto a different path. It is my opinion that boys and men hide their other "softer" feelings like hurt underneath a guise of anger. I think pasajes is right. #1 for you is for you to take care of YOU. Your son is bullying you. He desperately needs you to stop this anger/misery spin cycle that the two of you are on. The more sad and depressed you feel, the more out of control in his life he feels. You absolutely have to stand up to him. You have to dig deep, find that inner angry mom, get mad at his depression, and take control. It will be difficult, but it can be done. It's not insurmountable. You can change how YOU interact with him. He will still be saying ugly and hurtful things, but you have to allow those nasty comments to bounce off you. You can feel all the hurt later when he isn't able to see the effects. By showing him strength you will light a small fire of hope inside him. Children, especially teenagers, need to have strong parents. They are interacting more and more with the world and sometimes finding it to be a scary place. I think that's how your son feels. He's been targeted by bullies for being different, so he's now relishing his role. Then he comes home and attacks you in order to feel more powerful himself. Does he have any outside interests? Are there any positive relationships that he can build on? Keep talking to us. We understand. [/QUOTE]
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Toxic 15 year old
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