Recently my son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). The details of which I still don’t really know. He is 9 and has great grades but is starting to have social difficulties and he has major sensory issues etc. Holding it together in school plays a major part in his anger outbursts. He asked me a few months ago to take him to a therapist. My ex was not happy about it and as per his usual fought me so hard verbally but not legally and eventually stopped. The therapist suggested psychological testing which caused my ex another tirade but I went ahead with it. Meanwhile this whole time my ex refuses to talk to my son about therapy and actively tells him he doesn’t need it, tells me I am causing my sons issues and therapy makes people crazy and I just want to medicate him into a zombie... Well the psychological testing showed Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). I am so worried about how or when to tell his father. His dad has already talked him out of the hip hop dance lessons he loved and constantly gives him crap about not liking sports or being a “sissy” and what things are boy things and girl things to the point he punched his 4 year old brother in the face for watching Barbie videos with their sister. He tells him he is so tough on him because he knows how other kids are and he doesn’t want him to get made fun of. He tells me I’m too soft on him a d I want him to be “gay”. I think he genuinely believes he is doing the right things for him as he was raised this way too. Anyhow I am so afraid of the way he is going to react to this news and what horrible things he is going to tell my son. I can’t withhold custodial time legally and my son takes everything his dad says to heart so much... even my ex’s new wife who I did tell says not to tell my ex unless it is necessary because she knows how awful he gets about this stuff... but then that means not fully explaining it to my son and I don’t wanna do that either... I’m also still suffering a bit from my time married to him and the cycle of his gaslighting and manipulation. He was never physically violent but definitely controlling and emotionally abusive. I can’t even process my sons diagnosis because I am so afraid of his fathers reaction.