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Toxic Friends-Kicking you when you're down
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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 757426" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>I am surprised there are so many authors here. </p><p></p><p>I agree with all you said, J Mom. The skills I learned from reading but the implementation of boundaries came from the help in this group. I have come a long way, and I also use what I have success using what I have learned in all my relationships, which brings me to this "friend". (I had a meltdown on this topic a while ago and made it through, thanks to the support I recieved here.</p><p></p><p>Realistically, did she contribute in some way to your book?Did she encourage you, help you work through the tough spots, the many things we experience as writers? I think honorable mention of someone who is not honorable would not be the right thing to do. It diminishes the worth of relationships that build us up. You owe her nothing. She chose to contribute. Trust, gratitude, and mutual support without fear of judgement are the cornerstones of a worthy friendship. That can't be bought or manipulated. It must be earned. I guess it's about the standard WE set for ourselves. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you are going through this. Others seem to think they have answers. Trouble is they want to help by telling us what we need to do. That is not help. I have been approached by the person who hurt me to try to reconnect. Thing is, she said horrible things when I told her everything she thought we should do had already been done. (She is my children's deceased father's sister in law). I forgive her because she simply cannot understand, but I dont want her in my life. My son, best friend, and my husband all tell me she didnt want to help, she is just nosey. Lord knows I have enough to deal with, especially since my Difficult Child is now pregnant for the first time at 41. She immediately quit drinking and the adderall and xanax. For the first time in years we can talk on the phone. I know she is going to strughke</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 757426, member: 23811"] I am surprised there are so many authors here. I agree with all you said, J Mom. The skills I learned from reading but the implementation of boundaries came from the help in this group. I have come a long way, and I also use what I have success using what I have learned in all my relationships, which brings me to this "friend". (I had a meltdown on this topic a while ago and made it through, thanks to the support I recieved here. Realistically, did she contribute in some way to your book?Did she encourage you, help you work through the tough spots, the many things we experience as writers? I think honorable mention of someone who is not honorable would not be the right thing to do. It diminishes the worth of relationships that build us up. You owe her nothing. She chose to contribute. Trust, gratitude, and mutual support without fear of judgement are the cornerstones of a worthy friendship. That can't be bought or manipulated. It must be earned. I guess it's about the standard WE set for ourselves. I am so sorry you are going through this. Others seem to think they have answers. Trouble is they want to help by telling us what we need to do. That is not help. I have been approached by the person who hurt me to try to reconnect. Thing is, she said horrible things when I told her everything she thought we should do had already been done. (She is my children's deceased father's sister in law). I forgive her because she simply cannot understand, but I dont want her in my life. My son, best friend, and my husband all tell me she didnt want to help, she is just nosey. Lord knows I have enough to deal with, especially since my Difficult Child is now pregnant for the first time at 41. She immediately quit drinking and the adderall and xanax. For the first time in years we can talk on the phone. I know she is going to strughke [/QUOTE]
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Toxic Friends-Kicking you when you're down
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