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<blockquote data-quote="GoingNorth" data-source="post: 5626" data-attributes="member: 1963"><p>Merris, I cannot, having not been through this, even come close to imagining how you must be feeling.</p><p></p><p>By me I think that once I got past the fear what I would be feeling would be an incredible grief--the final death of a dream.</p><p></p><p>You have to be safe and the only way to know this will never happen again is for difficult child to be locked away--its a death of a sort.</p><p></p><p>Remember that it is okay to grieve and don't forget to be gentle to yourself. This is not due to something you did or did not do. It's an illness that manifested in such a way that your difficult child became dangerous.</p><p></p><p>Your husband, harsh as it sounds, is right. Locked MH facility might feel better, you might feel like he's getting treatment but in truth these facilities are not different from jails. If prison/jail is what it takes to know you are safe, then so be it.</p><p></p><p>It is no longer about punishment or treatment; it is now about you being safe--period.</p><p></p><p>I wish you the best; and don't forget to breathe.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GoingNorth, post: 5626, member: 1963"] Merris, I cannot, having not been through this, even come close to imagining how you must be feeling. By me I think that once I got past the fear what I would be feeling would be an incredible grief--the final death of a dream. You have to be safe and the only way to know this will never happen again is for difficult child to be locked away--its a death of a sort. Remember that it is okay to grieve and don't forget to be gentle to yourself. This is not due to something you did or did not do. It's an illness that manifested in such a way that your difficult child became dangerous. Your husband, harsh as it sounds, is right. Locked MH facility might feel better, you might feel like he's getting treatment but in truth these facilities are not different from jails. If prison/jail is what it takes to know you are safe, then so be it. It is no longer about punishment or treatment; it is now about you being safe--period. I wish you the best; and don't forget to breathe. [/QUOTE]
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