Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Transitioning: childhood to adulthood+ - a repost
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 60216" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Jo</p><p></p><p>First of all.... Are you sure you're not married to my husband??? Yours, I swear, sounds exactly like mine right down to his reactions. Spooky. :nonono:</p><p></p><p>This is going to sound awful but I'm the sole diciplinarian in our home. Oh, husband will back me up, but I'm the law. I didn't plan it this way, nor do I like it this way, but I just don't have a choice. husband is too reactive to both difficult child kids (always has been) and always over reacts to every little thing, then when he's over being mad will relent and try to make the punishment go away. :slap: He's simply too up and down. I've always been a tad anal about consistancy with rules and dicipline. I rarely raise my voice, but if I do my kids know the world is about to stand still and they're in serious trouble. husband, well, the kids stopped paying attention to him by the 2nd grade.</p><p></p><p>Not that I haven't tried with husband. We've discussed the subject to death. Even if I can get him to see what he does, the next time the kids do something he's at it again. So I just stopped. I tell husband what I think he needs to know. Anything I think he'll blow his top over he gets told long after it's been delt with or not at all. Sometimes, if I'm lucky we can discuss something before hand and husband will manage to hold it together while we handle the situation. But as you know most difficult child situations don't give us warning, they just happen.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Once my kids entered their teen years I began stepping back and letting them make their own mistakes. The older they got, the more I stepped back. By the time mine were 17 they were making 90% of their own decisions with some input from me. They still had the house rules to follow. But they had quite a bit of freedom within those rules. I let natural consequences take their course and only did punishment when necessary.</p><p></p><p>As the title of your post indicates, you're attempting at this age to transition difficult child from childhood to adulthood. If difficult child isn't allowed a certain amount of freedom and independence she won't be able to learn the skills she'll need as an adult. I know it can be hard when the child is a difficult child to find the right balance. You and husband will have to set the bounderies that you feel comfortable with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 60216, member: 84"] Jo First of all.... Are you sure you're not married to my husband??? Yours, I swear, sounds exactly like mine right down to his reactions. Spooky. [img]:nonono:[/img] This is going to sound awful but I'm the sole diciplinarian in our home. Oh, husband will back me up, but I'm the law. I didn't plan it this way, nor do I like it this way, but I just don't have a choice. husband is too reactive to both difficult child kids (always has been) and always over reacts to every little thing, then when he's over being mad will relent and try to make the punishment go away. [img]:slap:[/img] He's simply too up and down. I've always been a tad anal about consistancy with rules and dicipline. I rarely raise my voice, but if I do my kids know the world is about to stand still and they're in serious trouble. husband, well, the kids stopped paying attention to him by the 2nd grade. Not that I haven't tried with husband. We've discussed the subject to death. Even if I can get him to see what he does, the next time the kids do something he's at it again. So I just stopped. I tell husband what I think he needs to know. Anything I think he'll blow his top over he gets told long after it's been delt with or not at all. Sometimes, if I'm lucky we can discuss something before hand and husband will manage to hold it together while we handle the situation. But as you know most difficult child situations don't give us warning, they just happen. Once my kids entered their teen years I began stepping back and letting them make their own mistakes. The older they got, the more I stepped back. By the time mine were 17 they were making 90% of their own decisions with some input from me. They still had the house rules to follow. But they had quite a bit of freedom within those rules. I let natural consequences take their course and only did punishment when necessary. As the title of your post indicates, you're attempting at this age to transition difficult child from childhood to adulthood. If difficult child isn't allowed a certain amount of freedom and independence she won't be able to learn the skills she'll need as an adult. I know it can be hard when the child is a difficult child to find the right balance. You and husband will have to set the bounderies that you feel comfortable with. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Transitioning: childhood to adulthood+ - a repost
Top