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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 675578" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Is it possible that the binging is alcoholism since it runs in the family? One doesn't have to drink every day to be an alcoholic. But when an alcoholic drinks, he can't stop until he is wasted. I suspect you know this. As for drugs...you never know if he's using or not or what he could be using. Depression on it's own, without substance abuse, is treatable. A psychiatrist is best, but at his age you can't make your son go. Is he helpful at home? Respectful? Any car accidents? DUIs? Do you still pay all his bills?</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you are having these thoughts on Christmas and hope you can learn, like so many of us have, that we can not control our grown children.We can only change our reactions to those kids, who are now grown men and women. You have two other boys who are watching your reaction to this son.</p><p></p><p>Also...this is not your fault. Your son is choosing to do nothing and binge drink. You never taught him to not work hard or binge drink or try drugs. It's on him...he is 25. Don't let him make you feel guilty if you decide not to pay for his clothes, his car, his cell phone, etc. He is old enough that he should be finding a way to pay himself. Depression usually does not stop one from being able to work, in fact working can be helpful f or depression. I have suffered depression since age 13 and am doing very well for years now on good medication, therapy and hard work on myself. Alcoholism, however, can get in the way of work, especially if they drug test.</p><p></p><p>Your son is failing to launch, a common problem with the kids here, especially those who indulge in substances too much. I don't personally feel that talking to him at his age will help. My own opinion, which could be wrong, is he needs to be pushed into working, even if it's at McDonalds.</p><p></p><p>Sorry for your hurting heart. Try hard to take care of yourself. That's very important.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 675578, member: 1550"] Is it possible that the binging is alcoholism since it runs in the family? One doesn't have to drink every day to be an alcoholic. But when an alcoholic drinks, he can't stop until he is wasted. I suspect you know this. As for drugs...you never know if he's using or not or what he could be using. Depression on it's own, without substance abuse, is treatable. A psychiatrist is best, but at his age you can't make your son go. Is he helpful at home? Respectful? Any car accidents? DUIs? Do you still pay all his bills? I'm sorry you are having these thoughts on Christmas and hope you can learn, like so many of us have, that we can not control our grown children.We can only change our reactions to those kids, who are now grown men and women. You have two other boys who are watching your reaction to this son. Also...this is not your fault. Your son is choosing to do nothing and binge drink. You never taught him to not work hard or binge drink or try drugs. It's on him...he is 25. Don't let him make you feel guilty if you decide not to pay for his clothes, his car, his cell phone, etc. He is old enough that he should be finding a way to pay himself. Depression usually does not stop one from being able to work, in fact working can be helpful f or depression. I have suffered depression since age 13 and am doing very well for years now on good medication, therapy and hard work on myself. Alcoholism, however, can get in the way of work, especially if they drug test. Your son is failing to launch, a common problem with the kids here, especially those who indulge in substances too much. I don't personally feel that talking to him at his age will help. My own opinion, which could be wrong, is he needs to be pushed into working, even if it's at McDonalds. Sorry for your hurting heart. Try hard to take care of yourself. That's very important. [/QUOTE]
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