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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 638943" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Contracts can be a great tool. My husband and I used them with our difficult child. It helps to make very clear what your expectations are and what the rules of YOUR house are. Our difficult child smoked pot and I did not want it in my house. Our contract with him said "no pot is to be brought into our house", so one day I go to his room and say "I'm going to search your room to make sure there is no pot here" to which he replied "your stupid contract doesn't say you can search MY room, this is MY room and you don't have the right" This opened up a heated discussion that it's not his room that my husband and I just let him use it and explained that he doesn't make the mortgage payments, electric bill, etc.... He threatened to call the cops on me saying I was "messing with his civil rights", I said fine go ahead they can help me search. He backed down, I searched his room and found the pot.</p><p>Make sure to really think through what you will put in the contract. Our difficult child's can be very manipulative and are good at using our own words against us.</p><p>Keeping good thoughts for you and hoping for the best possible outcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 638943, member: 18516"] Contracts can be a great tool. My husband and I used them with our difficult child. It helps to make very clear what your expectations are and what the rules of YOUR house are. Our difficult child smoked pot and I did not want it in my house. Our contract with him said "no pot is to be brought into our house", so one day I go to his room and say "I'm going to search your room to make sure there is no pot here" to which he replied "your stupid contract doesn't say you can search MY room, this is MY room and you don't have the right" This opened up a heated discussion that it's not his room that my husband and I just let him use it and explained that he doesn't make the mortgage payments, electric bill, etc.... He threatened to call the cops on me saying I was "messing with his civil rights", I said fine go ahead they can help me search. He backed down, I searched his room and found the pot. Make sure to really think through what you will put in the contract. Our difficult child's can be very manipulative and are good at using our own words against us. Keeping good thoughts for you and hoping for the best possible outcome. [/QUOTE]
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