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Parent Emeritus
trying to detach
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 639039" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Think about it. Your rules are minimal. Most adult kids who are not going to college have to work full time and be civilized and non-threatening. Most don't even have to be told to be that way; they just are.</p><p></p><p>You are giving him a chance to stay with you. He isn't exactly being asked to do a lot. The only thing I'd probably offer in advice is that I'd probably see what his salary is before I'd set th e rent, but $200 a month is very very reasonable. He won't find it on the outside. The job and being nice are probably going to be his biggest challenges, but he sees what you expect now and if he wants to stay with you, he sees how he can do that.This way if he doesn't hold up his end, and you want him to leave, you can say, "So you are violating the contract? You are choosing to leave?" I wouldn't say "You are being kicked out." It's actually more appropriate to say, "So you are choosing not to live here?" Because, after all, it is his choice. </p><p></p><p>by the way, I looked at your signature and saw that you have low contact with your former easy child. I know how much th at hurts. We adopted a child who left us completely after he met his wife. I don't know if that is the entire reason why he left. He won't tell us. It hurt a lot for a long time. I hope you regain a relationship with your other child.</p><p></p><p>You sure have had a lot on your plate. Sending warmth and all the strong vibes I can...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 639039, member: 1550"] Think about it. Your rules are minimal. Most adult kids who are not going to college have to work full time and be civilized and non-threatening. Most don't even have to be told to be that way; they just are. You are giving him a chance to stay with you. He isn't exactly being asked to do a lot. The only thing I'd probably offer in advice is that I'd probably see what his salary is before I'd set th e rent, but $200 a month is very very reasonable. He won't find it on the outside. The job and being nice are probably going to be his biggest challenges, but he sees what you expect now and if he wants to stay with you, he sees how he can do that.This way if he doesn't hold up his end, and you want him to leave, you can say, "So you are violating the contract? You are choosing to leave?" I wouldn't say "You are being kicked out." It's actually more appropriate to say, "So you are choosing not to live here?" Because, after all, it is his choice. by the way, I looked at your signature and saw that you have low contact with your former easy child. I know how much th at hurts. We adopted a child who left us completely after he met his wife. I don't know if that is the entire reason why he left. He won't tell us. It hurt a lot for a long time. I hope you regain a relationship with your other child. You sure have had a lot on your plate. Sending warmth and all the strong vibes I can... [/QUOTE]
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