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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 684602" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>You're doing the best you can do with a tough situation. I agree that #2 should not be allowed to drag the rest of the family into the toilet with him. I suspect he is idolizing his deceased father. You and SO might have been able to reach him emotionally if he hadn't turned to substance abuse. With that choice, he isn't thinking clearly and nothing you say is likely to get through. </p><p></p><p>I find that it is truly difficult to get my kids to talk about their father. My daughter only remembers "crazy Daddy." My son doesn't like to talk about him, but I occasionally force the issue. The turning point for my son seemed to be when he realized that his anger was out of control, and he asked to see an anger management therapist. Fortunately for my son, it was his friends who demanded that he do that. If his friends had been talking him into drinking and drugging, I'd be right where you are. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry #2 son is so hurt. I hope being sober for awhile gives him a different perspective. He deserves so much better than this path of self-destruction. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p></p><p>He's is lucky to have a warrior mom in his corner, no matter how mad he is at you now. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/warrior.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":warrior:" title="warrior :warrior:" data-shortname=":warrior:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 684602, member: 11832"] You're doing the best you can do with a tough situation. I agree that #2 should not be allowed to drag the rest of the family into the toilet with him. I suspect he is idolizing his deceased father. You and SO might have been able to reach him emotionally if he hadn't turned to substance abuse. With that choice, he isn't thinking clearly and nothing you say is likely to get through. I find that it is truly difficult to get my kids to talk about their father. My daughter only remembers "crazy Daddy." My son doesn't like to talk about him, but I occasionally force the issue. The turning point for my son seemed to be when he realized that his anger was out of control, and he asked to see an anger management therapist. Fortunately for my son, it was his friends who demanded that he do that. If his friends had been talking him into drinking and drugging, I'd be right where you are. I'm sorry #2 son is so hurt. I hope being sober for awhile gives him a different perspective. He deserves so much better than this path of self-destruction. :( He's is lucky to have a warrior mom in his corner, no matter how mad he is at you now. :warrior: [/QUOTE]
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