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Trying to help an adult child that refuses help and trying not to loose my mind
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 669350" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Your son sounds seriously depressed. Young men experience depression often in college. Severe depression can result in actual pain that they feel is purely physical. He is also threatening suicide. Please call a crisis unit if he threatens again. This needs to be taken seriously.</p><p></p><p>Also, other types of mental illness can start to manifest in young men. It is difficult to know exactly what it is.</p><p></p><p>Please, do not feel guilty. The past is the past. Try to concentrate on the present condition of your son. You are a good mother because you are trying to help him. Mother guilt, which I am very good at, gets you nowhere. You would not be posting here if you did not care.</p><p></p><p>I agree with Apple Cori. He should see a G.P. who could direct him towards a psychological evaluation. You cannot ask the doctor for information about your adult son unless your son approves it. It is better to volunteer information, never ask questions.</p><p></p><p>Yes, he could have experienced a difficult childhood. But, he is an adult now. He is telling you about reasons that he is mad at you. These reasons need to be talked about to a therapist. A large amount of men in the world are circumsized, without issues. Do not take him in to see specialists for these other conditions. A good G.P. will see there is an underlying issue that is not physical, but rather psychological in nature.</p><p></p><p>We are here for you. To your son, these concerns are very real. Both of my sisters have schizophrenia. I am not saying that your son has this. It is rare.</p><p></p><p>But, my eldest sister has gone through 5 medical coverages. She goes from doctor to doctor. When they finally tell her it is psychological in nature, she runs out of the office. Four of the coverages threw her out because she would not listen and agree to therapy. She took pills that she did not need. Once a doctor got wise, she was off to another one the next week.</p><p></p><p>You could use the angle and say that it must be very difficult for you to go through this constant pain. You seem very down because you have said that you want to die. Talking to a doctor would help you handle your pain and medical issues better. They might be able to give you coping strategies to employ while we are waiting for a diagnosis. They can help you deal with the pain.</p><p></p><p>Please keep posting. Others will be here. It really helps. </p><p></p><p>I am a special education teacher, mild to moderate. He needs an evaluation. There could be any number of causes. Use the above approach. The more you say that it is purely mental, the more that he will dig his heels in. Again, to him it is very real. Listen to him. </p><p></p><p>Also, do not feel guilty. You are a good mom trying to help your son. If he threatens suicide, call a crisis unit immediately. </p><p></p><p>You are in our thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 669350, member: 19245"] Your son sounds seriously depressed. Young men experience depression often in college. Severe depression can result in actual pain that they feel is purely physical. He is also threatening suicide. Please call a crisis unit if he threatens again. This needs to be taken seriously. Also, other types of mental illness can start to manifest in young men. It is difficult to know exactly what it is. Please, do not feel guilty. The past is the past. Try to concentrate on the present condition of your son. You are a good mother because you are trying to help him. Mother guilt, which I am very good at, gets you nowhere. You would not be posting here if you did not care. I agree with Apple Cori. He should see a G.P. who could direct him towards a psychological evaluation. You cannot ask the doctor for information about your adult son unless your son approves it. It is better to volunteer information, never ask questions. Yes, he could have experienced a difficult childhood. But, he is an adult now. He is telling you about reasons that he is mad at you. These reasons need to be talked about to a therapist. A large amount of men in the world are circumsized, without issues. Do not take him in to see specialists for these other conditions. A good G.P. will see there is an underlying issue that is not physical, but rather psychological in nature. We are here for you. To your son, these concerns are very real. Both of my sisters have schizophrenia. I am not saying that your son has this. It is rare. But, my eldest sister has gone through 5 medical coverages. She goes from doctor to doctor. When they finally tell her it is psychological in nature, she runs out of the office. Four of the coverages threw her out because she would not listen and agree to therapy. She took pills that she did not need. Once a doctor got wise, she was off to another one the next week. You could use the angle and say that it must be very difficult for you to go through this constant pain. You seem very down because you have said that you want to die. Talking to a doctor would help you handle your pain and medical issues better. They might be able to give you coping strategies to employ while we are waiting for a diagnosis. They can help you deal with the pain. Please keep posting. Others will be here. It really helps. I am a special education teacher, mild to moderate. He needs an evaluation. There could be any number of causes. Use the above approach. The more you say that it is purely mental, the more that he will dig his heels in. Again, to him it is very real. Listen to him. Also, do not feel guilty. You are a good mom trying to help your son. If he threatens suicide, call a crisis unit immediately. You are in our thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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Trying to help an adult child that refuses help and trying not to loose my mind
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