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Parent Emeritus
Trying to prepare myself for what's next
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 628580" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>I'm glad you posted, Child, you know I have been thinking of you and wondering how this month of June, this year of wonders, is going for you. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am with you in effort here...I think you are better, further along with this, than I...in my core I cannot accept that difficult child has a right to choose these things...I am trying to expiate that, but not getting there. I can accept that he IS choosing these things and I can't stop him...I can't get to the point that that is his right. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, this part is crazy true. My difficult child asks me repeatedly "how do I seem to you? how do you think I'm doing?" This is clearly because he believes that I am going to acknowledge to him that he is doing well (it usually comes up when he has identified a job he plans to apply for, or some one has given him a warm sleeping bag (which he will promptly discard), or he found a place that will let him shower). My dear, my darling...you are doing lousy. But he thinks he is handling it fine. Or so he says. Really I don't know what he thinks. Ever. That is part of the problem..the obfuscation, lying, lack of insight. I know those are all judgment terms..I just don't know what else to call it. Sometimes I feel like I"m being gaslighted into thinking he is doing OK..</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I really, really hope for you that you find this place. </p><p>I need to say that again...I really really hope for you that you find this place. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Tish, I opened Amazon on my computer while I was reading your post, and ordered this. Thanks!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Cedar, thank you for that addition. We know that Child is committed to this...we have a band of folks here on the board who know this and work on it...you, me, recovering, seeking, albie, mwm, lucy, so many others..but writing it down is important. Otherwise it will take second place, or third place, or be lost in some time of crisis. So thank you for highlighting it to Child, and to all of us.</p><p></p><p>Blessings on you today, Child, Cedar, Tish, all. Blessings on you and on our difficult children.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 628580, member: 17269"] I'm glad you posted, Child, you know I have been thinking of you and wondering how this month of June, this year of wonders, is going for you. I am with you in effort here...I think you are better, further along with this, than I...in my core I cannot accept that difficult child has a right to choose these things...I am trying to expiate that, but not getting there. I can accept that he IS choosing these things and I can't stop him...I can't get to the point that that is his right. Yes, this part is crazy true. My difficult child asks me repeatedly "how do I seem to you? how do you think I'm doing?" This is clearly because he believes that I am going to acknowledge to him that he is doing well (it usually comes up when he has identified a job he plans to apply for, or some one has given him a warm sleeping bag (which he will promptly discard), or he found a place that will let him shower). My dear, my darling...you are doing lousy. But he thinks he is handling it fine. Or so he says. Really I don't know what he thinks. Ever. That is part of the problem..the obfuscation, lying, lack of insight. I know those are all judgment terms..I just don't know what else to call it. Sometimes I feel like I"m being gaslighted into thinking he is doing OK.. I really, really hope for you that you find this place. I need to say that again...I really really hope for you that you find this place. Tish, I opened Amazon on my computer while I was reading your post, and ordered this. Thanks! Cedar, thank you for that addition. We know that Child is committed to this...we have a band of folks here on the board who know this and work on it...you, me, recovering, seeking, albie, mwm, lucy, so many others..but writing it down is important. Otherwise it will take second place, or third place, or be lost in some time of crisis. So thank you for highlighting it to Child, and to all of us. Blessings on you today, Child, Cedar, Tish, all. Blessings on you and on our difficult children. Echo [/QUOTE]
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