Trying very hard to detach

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Nov 20, 2013.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    difficult child is almost 17. As most of you probably remember, she has/had terrible school anxiety. So, we went with an online school. Great idea right? Ugh. She is so far behind in every single subject. She is not working at all. And, I am freaking out. (on the inside of course.) I am not bailing her out on this. It is very hard not to fix this for her, but, I am letting her face the consequences of her lack of action. It looks like it will be GED for her.
  2. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I have no advice for you, just a whole lot of empathy. My daughter also suffers with severe school anxiety but for her I knew right away that online school was absolutely not an option for her. If I left her to her own devices, I knew for a 100% fact that she would get none of her work done. She would have been on her cell phone or surfing the internet while I was at work. Right now my daughter is doing better at a smaller school where the teachers are equipped to deal with mentally ill kids. I am sorry the online option isn't working out for you. I hope you can find a better alternative so she gets an education.
  3. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I'm sorry stressed. I feel like I could be in your shoes. Ms emo is having difficulty in school for a variety of reasons. It's been a challange and will be to get her to graduate. She will be 19 in May and she is only a sophmore. I've been battling the school too with her IEP because last year she failed all her core classes. That means she basically lost an entire year. She wants to just quit. With the new law they can't until they are 18 which only gives 1 more year to keep her in school. This year her mood about going to school is better and she WANTS to be at school but I fear that will be quickly changed if the situations don't start improving and the school isn't helping. I recently went up against them after having to try to get her class schedule resolved before the school year started. No one would return a call. So here we are now and they up and decided oh yeah we'll change the classes. Then realized that in doing so they needed to change it again (put in 1 elective for the whole year, then took it away to be replaced with repeated algebra 1 course- she's already in algebra 2 for 1st semester). I said if you take the ONLY elective away you will give her NOTHING to look forward to at all and with all that's going on, push her away from school! Their stance was "let's get in all the eduction we can before we loose her." My stance is well let's not push her to that point and she will stay! I lost. She just recently begged me to let her get out of the school and homeschool. I know, like you and others, that this is not a good idea. She will NOT do the work at all at home. No how no way! I don't even think in the future once she did quit she would get a GED. I'm trying to KEEP her in school as it's the ONLY chance for education for her and they don't seem to get it. So yeah....I'm there with you in spirit! (hugs)
  4. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    That is the worst part, she is a completely brilliant child. She CAN do the work. It is just getting her to focus. I refused to fight the getting into the school problem again this year. I would wake up wanting to throw up everyday. And, I so wish we had a specialized school around here that would have worked for her, but we do not. I just keep reminding myself that I have done everything and more for her, and this is something she wanted to do, and she will have to figure out what she is going to do about it.
  5. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Good luck, I'm dreading when difficult child 1 is that old.