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<blockquote data-quote="Lost in sadness" data-source="post: 708133" data-attributes="member: 21056"><p>Copabanana, I feel for you. I relate to this. As i read all of your replies to my situation, read other peoples situations and slowly work through this I am wondering more and more if by helping our 'children' in this way is only serving the purpose of making us feel better, giving us hope. I do not think what we offer them changes anything. I wonder if we feel that by showing them nice things, helping them with small requirements in return (clean drugs test, working etc) we will change their thought process and make them see a better life. I am not sure now that any of this works. They appear to be wired a different way. If we could change them, it would not make sense that some of our adult children choose to be homeless, not work, do drugs etc rather than live a nice, purposeful life - the one we are offering them. Sometimes, I suppose we have to say "enough is enough" and just pray they see if for themselves otherwise I am now believing we are just setting ourselves up for a lifelong 'job' of creating a life for our adult children whilst they sit back and wait for us to pick up the pieces. Hugs xxxx</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lost in sadness, post: 708133, member: 21056"] Copabanana, I feel for you. I relate to this. As i read all of your replies to my situation, read other peoples situations and slowly work through this I am wondering more and more if by helping our 'children' in this way is only serving the purpose of making us feel better, giving us hope. I do not think what we offer them changes anything. I wonder if we feel that by showing them nice things, helping them with small requirements in return (clean drugs test, working etc) we will change their thought process and make them see a better life. I am not sure now that any of this works. They appear to be wired a different way. If we could change them, it would not make sense that some of our adult children choose to be homeless, not work, do drugs etc rather than live a nice, purposeful life - the one we are offering them. Sometimes, I suppose we have to say "enough is enough" and just pray they see if for themselves otherwise I am now believing we are just setting ourselves up for a lifelong 'job' of creating a life for our adult children whilst they sit back and wait for us to pick up the pieces. Hugs xxxx [/QUOTE]
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