Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Tug of War
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="wisernow" data-source="post: 708134" data-attributes="member: 20373"><p>Oh Copa...I can read your breaking heart through your words. Hugs to you. You and M have done everything that you could and more! I think it is time for you to take a step back. You have every right to set boundaries in your home, and your property. It is his choice as to whether he can accept these or not. </p><p></p><p> I too bought a property to keep my son safe as he was constantly being kicked out of rentals for his behavior and abuse. Well, that didn't work out so well...he abused that property, got involved in criminal activity and the condo board put a restraining order that he could not return. I think that was my final breaking point....I could think of nothing more to do. I felt that he and the universe had given me a huge slap in the face...how much can any one person tolerate?? I began to see our dance at that time as abusive...and my soul screamed out how much more can you endure? I had to step away to save myself. And in my stepping away, funny enough my son started to take some responsibility. While his life is not what I wish for him, he is finding his path.</p><p></p><p>This is so painful for you because as you said you unfroze your heart and let him back in again. But as Pigless said:</p><p></p><p>"There is nothing you can say or do that can get your son to see what he is doing to himself. You and Miguel have to decide if you can tolerate the pot smoking. It only feels bad, Copa, because you are still his mother. You have a need to know that he is safe. If he is living nearby, you at least know that much. Only you can decide if you can let go of that need."</p><p></p><p>Be kind to yourself today Copa. Many hugs to you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wisernow, post: 708134, member: 20373"] Oh Copa...I can read your breaking heart through your words. Hugs to you. You and M have done everything that you could and more! I think it is time for you to take a step back. You have every right to set boundaries in your home, and your property. It is his choice as to whether he can accept these or not. I too bought a property to keep my son safe as he was constantly being kicked out of rentals for his behavior and abuse. Well, that didn't work out so well...he abused that property, got involved in criminal activity and the condo board put a restraining order that he could not return. I think that was my final breaking point....I could think of nothing more to do. I felt that he and the universe had given me a huge slap in the face...how much can any one person tolerate?? I began to see our dance at that time as abusive...and my soul screamed out how much more can you endure? I had to step away to save myself. And in my stepping away, funny enough my son started to take some responsibility. While his life is not what I wish for him, he is finding his path. This is so painful for you because as you said you unfroze your heart and let him back in again. But as Pigless said: "There is nothing you can say or do that can get your son to see what he is doing to himself. You and Miguel have to decide if you can tolerate the pot smoking. It only feels bad, Copa, because you are still his mother. You have a need to know that he is safe. If he is living nearby, you at least know that much. Only you can decide if you can let go of that need." Be kind to yourself today Copa. Many hugs to you! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Tug of War
Top