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<blockquote data-quote="Nessie" data-source="post: 718253" data-attributes="member: 21463"><p>Back to the emergency department following a seizure as he was unable to get hold of any Valium. The only good to come from this is that he has been fast tracked onto an out patient detox regime.</p><p></p><p>I spent the whole day with him yesterday just driving around as I was so frightened he would have another seizure. His face is cut and bruised as he fell on the concrete. I know my son is still in there somewhere but I cannot believe how selfish he is. I have realised he is not aware of the consequences of his actions and that makes me angry, he seems to be completely unable to empathise with anyone or any situation.</p><p></p><p>My parents are being so good to him but him being there makes me so anxious. It really does feel awful to be thinking that prison is my only hope right now. I completely agree with the idea of detachment but I seem to be unable to do this. For the past four nights I've spent hours away from my husband and daughters sorting out his problems and I feel so guilty. I know this worsens their feelings towards him because they can see how it is affecting me but I justify it to myself because I think he needs me more right now. It's all so draining and soul destroying.</p><p></p><p>Him not being allowed to live at home is completely the right thing but it means that I am running around everywhere and now feel even more anxious. It feels like he is heading towards a big black hole and I can't help but follow. </p><p></p><p>In the morning I am going to look for counselling of some kind because I mostly feel alone with this. I'm really scared of losing him but am terrified that we will still be doing this in ten years time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nessie, post: 718253, member: 21463"] Back to the emergency department following a seizure as he was unable to get hold of any Valium. The only good to come from this is that he has been fast tracked onto an out patient detox regime. I spent the whole day with him yesterday just driving around as I was so frightened he would have another seizure. His face is cut and bruised as he fell on the concrete. I know my son is still in there somewhere but I cannot believe how selfish he is. I have realised he is not aware of the consequences of his actions and that makes me angry, he seems to be completely unable to empathise with anyone or any situation. My parents are being so good to him but him being there makes me so anxious. It really does feel awful to be thinking that prison is my only hope right now. I completely agree with the idea of detachment but I seem to be unable to do this. For the past four nights I've spent hours away from my husband and daughters sorting out his problems and I feel so guilty. I know this worsens their feelings towards him because they can see how it is affecting me but I justify it to myself because I think he needs me more right now. It's all so draining and soul destroying. Him not being allowed to live at home is completely the right thing but it means that I am running around everywhere and now feel even more anxious. It feels like he is heading towards a big black hole and I can't help but follow. In the morning I am going to look for counselling of some kind because I mostly feel alone with this. I'm really scared of losing him but am terrified that we will still be doing this in ten years time. [/QUOTE]
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