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Parent Emeritus
Turns out it was a plugged gall-bladder and a stone. Values are improving.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 622467" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Cedar, I am so glad, sooooooooooooo glad, your daughter is better. What a relief!!! I think we all feel that with you.</p><p></p><p>You are so wise. You say such smart things. Of course our kids skew reality and threaten us and bring up stuff that never happened because of drug use or because their minds don't work right. And when it comes to non-drug users whose minds don't work right, but who are clearly not psychotic, it is so puzzling...we just don't know a whole lot about the brain yet. Still...as you said, it is IMPOSSIBLE to live with the abuse, disrespect and sometimes danger of these thought-skewed adults. We can't. Until somebody can cure them, or the majority of them go for help with the real desire to learn how to untwist their thinking, then we have to detach. It is possible to have a relationship with a thought=-skewed adult child (like 36) and just not take what he says personally or seriously.</p><p></p><p>I have taken years to get to that level where he can insult me and I can just get off the phone and forget what we talked about, moving on to another part of my life, certain that he is spewing nonsense. If I couldn't do that, I couldn't talk to him at all because he can not seem to stop himself from being stinging, mean, hurtful. Or CAN he control it? At this point, it doesn't matter to me because I am choosing to basically put it on disregard. I feel bad for him, in fact, that he is his father's least favorite (in spite of the monetary help he has given him) and that his siblings can't stand him and that he has no idea how to make friends and has no friends at all, which is why he always calls me.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow....happy that things are better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 622467, member: 1550"] Cedar, I am so glad, sooooooooooooo glad, your daughter is better. What a relief!!! I think we all feel that with you. You are so wise. You say such smart things. Of course our kids skew reality and threaten us and bring up stuff that never happened because of drug use or because their minds don't work right. And when it comes to non-drug users whose minds don't work right, but who are clearly not psychotic, it is so puzzling...we just don't know a whole lot about the brain yet. Still...as you said, it is IMPOSSIBLE to live with the abuse, disrespect and sometimes danger of these thought-skewed adults. We can't. Until somebody can cure them, or the majority of them go for help with the real desire to learn how to untwist their thinking, then we have to detach. It is possible to have a relationship with a thought=-skewed adult child (like 36) and just not take what he says personally or seriously. I have taken years to get to that level where he can insult me and I can just get off the phone and forget what we talked about, moving on to another part of my life, certain that he is spewing nonsense. If I couldn't do that, I couldn't talk to him at all because he can not seem to stop himself from being stinging, mean, hurtful. Or CAN he control it? At this point, it doesn't matter to me because I am choosing to basically put it on disregard. I feel bad for him, in fact, that he is his father's least favorite (in spite of the monetary help he has given him) and that his siblings can't stand him and that he has no idea how to make friends and has no friends at all, which is why he always calls me. Anyhow....happy that things are better. [/QUOTE]
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Turns out it was a plugged gall-bladder and a stone. Values are improving.
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