County mental health has approved a 45 day inpatient stay for kt. The only caveat is that it's at one of the treatment facilities that our psychiatrist has practice privileges. Fine with me as I don't want to have to "start over" with a psychiatrist unfamiliar with our family & kt in particular. Saying all that, it makes me angry & very sad to even be considering this step. I know this is wrong, but I feels such a failure as a parent, even knowing I've done everything that can be possibly be done. All the interventions, therapies, in home services. husband dying just pulled the rug right out from under kt. therapist told me yesterday that kt is looking for the same chaos she had with wm now that husband isn't here to help balance out the mix, so to speak. The more I thought about it, the more I see he's right. She's looking for the same sick relationship she has with wm with boys in school & has become quite hyper sexual. Scares the bejeebers out of me. My home is on "high alert" by the crisis team. I never thought we'd be back to this level with kt ~ not this regressed. Never believed I'd see all these darling personalities popping out; all this dissociative stuff at this level again. So we wait for a bed to open & stay on high alert. kt is unaware that she is heading for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I refuse to transport her when the day comes. And I will need something to fill my time. I hate this so. I appreciate you listening ~ just needed to talk tonight.