tweedle dum feeling hopeless

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Nov 23, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I spoke with wm on Wednesday evening & then again yesterday to wish him a good holiday. It's so heart breaking to have 2 children who cannot be together safely in one room on a family holiday; or even on their b'days.

    wm is feeling so hopeless. He told me that he had tried to hurt himself. I'm due to visit with him the first week of December. I asked that he call me or husband when he was feeling this way <span style="color: #FF6666">after</span> he told foster mum or an adult at school.

    wm agreed to let us know - to check in with us.

    Emotionally, he's such a little boy; physically he's your typical 13 year old. It's hard to separate - many times you don't want to; you need to encourage wm to catch up emotionally to that 13 year old part of him.

    That little boy needs his mom; that little boy isn't safe around his mom. It takes 3 other adults plus myself for me to visit with wm. His volatility & lack of impulse control puts me & in turn, himself at risk. I hate that. therapist has been working with wm to recognize the anger he feels toward bio mom isn't warranted toward me. (These are wm's dissociative moments.)

    Just feeling sad for my boy this morning. I so wanted to be able to climb into the van with kt & husband to go visit with him yesterday. Wasn't to be.

    Keep wm in your thoughts & prayers.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Linda my heart aches for wm. It's got to be hard on him that kt bug has progressed so much while he is still struggling. in my opinion it's so much harder for males to deal with these issues than females. (just the way God made us)

    I know it has to break your heart when he can't be home during holidays and such. Knowing he is where he needs to be doesn't necessarily take that away.

    The tweedles are always in my prayers.

  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'll be sure to say an extra prayer for wm today. I'm sorry for your hurting heart. Hugs.
  4. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    How sad. For you. For him. For your entire family.

    I don't know what to say. I'm just sorry.
  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Extra prayers for wm today, and for mommy as well.
  6. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    I didn't realize that wm also experiences dissociative states....

    It makes things so much harder when there is a wide disparity between chronological and emotional ages....

    Sending a hug
  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I am so sorry that wm is feeling so low. I know how hard it must be for you to not spend your holidays with both the children, as well as them to be apart. Sigh......
    Sending all of you big hugs, and cyber strength, to get through the next month with as much peace as possible.
  8. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm keeping wm in my thoughts and prayers... I'm also keeping you, kt and your husband in them as well... It's been such a tough year for you!!! Your strength, determination, wisdom, and sense of humor have helped me so much. (It's hard to believe, but, I will have been around a year in January!!!) I wish I could do something to help you too.

    Anyway, just know that I'm thinking of you and your family, and hoping that the New Year will hold many happy surprises for all of you... WFEN
  9. lynnp

    lynnp New Member

    Your courage and optimism continually amaze me. You have done the RIGHT thing for both your children. Wm and kt are in the right places to maximize their growth and development as human beings. I can not imagine the struggle you must deal with every day not having them in the same place. Life is not predictable. That is surely an understatment but please know that your every post on this board helps us all learn just a little more. We all have so much to be thankful for. We just have to look a little more closely than most people!
  10. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical


    I often think of you and your family. I don't know your pain but I do know ours. It is very hard to have these holidays and not have all of our kids under our roof. husband and I were talking and remember that two years ago thanksgiving was the last time all five of us were together.

    You have a great strength. That is most generally a benifit but when we are weighed down by soo much it can be hard also. You do a terrific job of taking care of your kids. Sometimes the hardest care to give is letting someone else do the hands on. You do so with style.

    Sorry I wasn't on earlier to see this earlier. As always keeping you and yours in my prayers.

  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I appreciate the cyber shoulder, ladies. The holidays have always been important - my mother ingrained in me a family celebration gene.

    The selfish part of me just wanted to teach, share the experiences of family that I had growing up to my children. While kt & wm have enjoyed some of these times - most of the time the emotional demands became too much.

    As for wm, he's jealous that kt gets the lion's share of mom & dad. It still hasn't clicked for him the dangerous behaviors/choices that led him to this placement.

    Sheila, psychiatrist & therapist both believe that wm is experiencing his own dissociative states - not the wild & blatant out of control states that kt presents; dissociative states non the less.

    Again - appreciate the cyber shoulder.