Havent been on the site for a while. My twin sons are turning 20 next week! They are both living in our closest city, about 40 minutes away. difficult child is at community college and maintaining, does tend to drop courses but what he stays with, he does well in. Has a goofy girlfriend who doesnt help him (shes a drinker, a smoker, weed, etc.) but all in all hes doing OK. Has his own cheap apartment and busses to campus. My other son is the reason for the post. Hes working full time as a line cook in a busy restaurant. Has his own studio apt. The job takes advantage of him by working him double and extra shifts, sending him in his own car to pick up co-workers who missed the bus, etc. He was recently told hed be moved to shift management and then was passed over for someone older with more experience. He had a long running girlfriend who ran around on him and he put up with a lot of abuse until finally giving her the heave-ho in fall 2011. He has been talking about wanting to die since the romance went south in late 2010. At first when he talked like this he put me into panics and I had him picked up on a mental hygiene arrest. They found him to be dehydrated, have some level of ADD and something else, but the whole I want to die thing that I reported was largely passed over. Since then, it comes up whenever he is frustrated, upset, overworked or out of money for weed. He only says it to me, his brother and his dad are like, What? as he never tells them this. I go back and forth between feeling manipulated and thinking hes going to follow through. Now he has stopped eating. Periodically he shows up at the family home with stomach pain and then says he hasnt had anything but cola, coffee and a piece of pizza in the prior three days. He is rail thin at 56 and 128lbs. Its horrifying to me, so last time I ran up to the city and spent $250 on groceries and a microwave for him. Ive also enlisted his brother in checking on him. They both came out for their birthday dinner last night and he did eat steak and a little pie, nothing else. Today he has been texting me all day about wanting to die, nothing makes him happy anymore, he wants a quick end to a meaningless life. It was so bad I transcribed the messages. I know he hasnt eaten today, and low blood sugar isnt helping his thought process. We were supposed to be going out of state this weekend for the first time in ages and now Im afraid to leave. (We are missing their actual birthday but both claimed it didnt matter.) So what do I do for him? He will NOT seek a doctors or therapists help, I have recommended it over and over. Hes an adult. He doesnt say he wants to die to anyone but me. I have offered to have him move back home, but when he was at home he hated the commute to his job in the city. He may have to, because apparently he did not pay his rent for March. I have no idea where his money is going, I assume for cigs and weed. Sigh. Any feedback would be appreciated.