Twisted Humor Born of too many Reality Competition Shows

[susiestar]

Jess had a really really BAD morning, starting at about 4:30 am. Neuro appointment can't come soon enough, neither can Mon when I am going to push the reg doctor to do orthopedic and rheumatology referrals also.

Anyway, we watched some tv and a movie on my computer. The last was 2 episodes of Project Runway. I think this idea is probably due to severe lack of sleep, but she thought it was too funny to share. If it became reality I don't think that I would like it, but I think some of you will appreciate the twisted humor.

We have probably all seen or heard of shows like Project Runway, Design Star, and other competition reality shows of that nature.

What about Project IEP? Where a group of us are chosen and we have to get various evaluations done and come up with the most effective IEP goals and treatment methods for various problems for our kids. We would compete for free evaluations and treatment from top psychiatrists, tdocs, neuropsychs and other professionals, maybe even for $X toward medications and therapy that insurance won't pay for. Or in the "final round" for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) care?

Again, I don't think I would want to watch, or that any of us have the time/energy to go through it, or that it would be good for our kiddoes, difficult child and easy child alike. But it is an idea that had me chuckling.

So what competitions would YOU think of for a show like that - imaginary, of course because our kids deserve their privacy and none of this is a game.

 

[buddy]

Mine aren't very creative but born out of real life for sure...(no doubt about the sensory issues in my difficult child's world)

HMMMM....A competition to become a school Administrator. Of course they can only win if they show they can be totally clueless and mess up an IEP at times. (not at all bitter here)

#2 Competition to see how many layers of clothes can a difficult child wear at one time and how many changes can he go through in a day? (he has literally put on 4-5 pair of undies and several pairs of pants, good thing he is skinny)

then, how many loads of laundry can mommy get done so he doesn't have to school naked the next week. (The cleans get mixed with the dirties with all the changes)




#3: Come up with the most creative and the highest number of nonsense questions that a difficult child can possibly ask when you are on the phone or talking to another adult

 

[keista]

I thought that idea was absolutely HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Def would NOT want to watch anything like that - total snooze fest. difficult child will accomplish X 6 out of 9 times in a grading period.

OK, so how about a competition to figure out a more realistic way of assessing our kids. Again total snoozefest, but, really, we need a change!

I know my parent teacher conference with the science teacher would have made for some interesting TV, maybe a competition on who's got the most oppositional TEACHERS to deal with?

 

[HaoZi]

How many medications can you identify in the dark by sound, feel, or smell? I know that one often shows up in the "You might have a difficult child if" thread. Maybe we could do it as a game at board meetups. Winner gets a pedicure and foot massage while someone else watches their difficult child(s).

 

[buddy]

while someone else watches their difficult child(s).

Ahhh, the boobie prize behind door number three!

 

[KTMom91]

In keeping with the "how many times can difficult child change his/her clothes," we could have the "how many showers can difficult child take in a day." I think Miss KT's up to about 6.

Conversely, the ever-unpopular "how many days can difficult child go WITHOUT a shower" competition would have to be held in a large room with a smell-impaired person watching them.

 

[mstang67chic]

Oooh! Ooooh!

What is the most outlandish reason/story/excuse for missing food or items in the house.

And conversely, what is the most outlandish reason/story/excuse for items that mysteriously appear in the house.

Best story for why medications aren't needed.

Best homemade piercing or tattoo (and rustiest tool used to create).

Most visits to the school nurse. (difficult child holds the record)

Secrets of the Lost Room: What treasures (or horrors) are unearthed as a difficult child room is excavated.

Most creative hair color/style

 

[susiestar]

HOw about stupidest most useless case worker? Daisyface has that one nailed for sure.

Rustiest tool for homemade piercing? how about dirtiest nastiest fallen tree branch used to "draw" on skin by scraping enough skin away to bleed in a pattern?

Shortest psychiatrist visit ever - that you actually went to? My dad found some quack psychiatrist who scheduled 3 MINUTE appts for all but new patients. New patients, only 12 per month, got a whole 6 minutes. I know because I went to the first few appts until the quack understood that Wiz' medications were fine and he needed to just write the rx's and leave him alone otherwise. Guy would even set a timer for your 3 min and wehn it dinged, he was DONE.

Glad to know it wasn't just me being overtired, but that this is actually funny to y'all too!

 

[buddy]

Most visits to the school nurse. (difficult child holds the record)

Oh IT'S ON NOW! haha, mine had 43 visits last quarter....outside of medications of course!

an about missing food. And I just got back from the grocery store...had 30$ for food for the entire week due to a medication. bill....I bought ONE treat thing...1.50 for halloween snack cakes. Ran to the bank after putting the food away and giving one pack to difficult child. Went to get one for myself tonight and half of one pack was left in the box...I had HIDDEN them and told him no more....ARRRRGGGGGG well no snacks for the week. sorry dude.

 

[HaoZi]

Most creative hair color/style

At age 7 mine had purple and blue in her hair, and we're now eyeballing the glow in the dark hair colors. For both of us, lol.

 

[oldmama]

how about a contest for most outlandish freak out when mom disconnects the internet????? oh my son would win that with no worries at all!

 

[InsaneCdn]

Oldmama - I think your son would have a LOT of competition from some of the other difficult children on this board. You're right - THAT would be interesting!

 

[InsaneCdn]

How about "worst teacher"? I've got several candidates to nominate for that one.

 

[Hound dog]

Insane I've got the winner for the worse teacher. The man I got fired from his job, Travis' 5 th grade teacher.

Ummm, there was a short while when Travis could rank up there at the top with what mom could get freaked out on with the computer. lol Until mom learned that making the keyboard and mouse disappear at night kept him off of it.

I'm afraid only we parents of difficult children would find it funny.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Lisa -
It would probably be a really close race on the teachers - and we have more than one.
The first retired at the end of the year that difficult child had her. Not possible to get her fired... but I know she's not teaching anymore.
The second... well, actually was a decent teacher but not a classroom teacher, Know what I mean?? A long list of us twisted her arm to take more training and move into Special Education... where its more one-on-one and small group. (she did - so, she wouldn't win)

The worst one... well, the year we had to deal with her, the principal thought she was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Principal retired that spring. New principal... would not even allow this teacher through the door as a SUB. I have never been around someone so TOXIC - but never did find a way to get her fired... (maybe if I'd found the board sooner, we would have!) - kind of ironic, because difficult child was prepared to "kill" her, and I managed to talk him down to "she should lose her teaching license and not be able to teach"...

There's been a couple more since then... one in particular would make a good run for the money.

I can even nominate a judge for this one... some old left-teaching-early, trained-in-the-old-days ex/retired teachers (who were GOOD teachers).

 

[HaoZi]

You should subgroup the teachers. The ones that are flat out fighting IEPs and whatnot (hostile), and the ones that are purely bone-headed, like Miss Blind Kid Needs to do His Microscope Assignment and Word Finds.

 

[JJJ]

Oldest kid to throw a true toddler tantrum (on the ground, flailing his arms and legs, screaming, etc)....I nominate Eeyore at 16 years old in the middle of a family party last night.

 

[buddy]

Oldest kid to throw a true toddler tantrum (on the ground, flailing his arms and legs, screaming, etc)....I nominate Eeyore at 16 years old in the middle of a family party last night.

We could include frequency ( several daily tantrums for my 14.10 difficult child) and best whiner needs to be a consolation prize (like miss congeniality)

 

[HaoZi]

An award for longest "honeymoon" and "most snowed professionals" as well.

 

[buddy]

You should subgroup the teachers. The ones that are flat out fighting IEPs and whatnot (hostile), and the ones that are purely bone-headed, like Miss Blind Kid Needs to do His Microscope Assignment and Word Finds.

I think we should include {like some of those Japanese game shows} terrible consequences for the ones who actually abuse difficult child's. I've told about the locking in a seclusion room for tapping his foot/power struggle with EA and it was the EA who did it with-o a licensed teacher's approval. Also had a mainstream 4th grade male teacher at the beginning of the year (hadn't read the IEP yet) grab difficult child during one of his rude sounding remarks, pull him in the hall and shove him into the lockers, restrained him there and yelled at him that he can't ever talk like that etc. One of my students had a similar thing when he (gifted aspie) hit a girl in gym because she hit him with a ball (he didn't get the rules of the game at all and they did pick on him) so teacher grabbed him and said next time you hit a girl I am gonna hit you. I found him in my office under my table. took 2 hours to get him out and find out what was going on. So glad he learned how to go to his "safe place" and didn't fly off the deep end. (by the way, he actually is in gifted and talented program now in middle school...he doesn't like gym and doesn't have to deal with playground anymore, yay)

PS I think these mini-vent threads, with a bent on humor that only difficult child famiies could probably understand, are really therapeutic. Helps dump some of that built up stuff that just floats around in my brain's background.