Hi Family - A good chicken having friend of mine said I should share the load. Okay ya wanna hear a bit? I get a call on my phone yesterday, three in a row as a matter of fact. Now keep in mind that Dude had told us he would definitely be home this morning at 4:00 AM to be sure to pick him up at the bus station. So once more we went and got things for him to eat because our diets are different. We made sure things were secure and locked, and when we left? We made sure the house was Ft. Knox. This takes a lot to do with a disabled and slow moving man, 4 dogs and now once again I have food that no one can eat - why? Because once again we get a call that he's NOT coming home. He lost his wallet, can't get on the train without I.D. - Grrrr. "I shouted WHATEVER and that I can't take anymore of his ()(#%&#*(& and before I hung up I heard him say he'd see me around. I swear this is the 4th time he's pulled this. Things like irresponsible, idiot, 20 years old in 4 months and prison life went through my head. My chest got tight. I found some Benadryl and took it. This is nuts. DF said I needed to get out of the house and we went thrift store shopping. We had fun. Got my mind off of dumb-dumb for a while and came home. The living room that has been his bedroom for months? Is now my living room again. DF made me get boxes and I packed up all of his things. When he comes? That's it. So Sunday - I decided more shop-therapy was in order. I left and was feeling better - until I got out of the store and checked my phones voice mail. On it there are 2 calls from numbers Dude calls from. The first voice mail is a hang up with scrambling in the background. The second? That one is Dude in a rushed voice and he said "MOMMA - CALL ME OH MOMMA.....I was (pain sound) cutting wood in the back yard (pain sound) and I cut my (expletive) leg (expletive) off and I need your help (pain sound) Momma help.....call.....(panting) me....please Momma." then scrambling (pain sound) and then he hangs up. I am driving down the road when I checked this. I had to cross three lanes of traffic. I'm shaking, I'm a wreck. I can't figure out how to call the number he called from because my brain is not working. My son is in trouble three states away - possibly bleeding to death, somewhere with a chain saw and a cell phone, and he called me for help and I was selfishly shopping. OMG what a pig I am. OMG how to get this (expletive phone to work) - I know call home - he would have called his Dad. Call home - Nope Dad says CALM DOWN what is wrong. I'm in tears. Dad gives me the number Dude calls from the most because he has no cell phone. I call it. No answer - OMG they must have found him - taken him to the hospital. Why wouldnt someone call me? How could I .......wait - the phone is ringing...it's that number. It has to be the woman he's staying with telling me how he is - will he ever walk again. How will he work? Is he going to live? Oh the probation - what about that? OMG - HELLO? Where is Dude? Momma? (in a calm voice) It's me. Are you okay? How bad is it? He lAUGHS.......LAUGHS....WT? He says I just needed you to call me back and I knew if I left you a message like that you'd call me. Now I'm crying....and I call him an (expletive) jackass. And I turn off my car, and I'm sobbing. This is it. This is like the time the cheese almost slid off my cracker, but not as bad....because I'm not laughing yet. I'm really just up to here with it all. I'm sobbing and calling my son names that would make an old lady drop her teeth. Finally after about 30 seconds I manage to compose myself and he says - "Do you really think if would be out on a beautiful day like this cutting wood?" and I fired back..... "I have no idea WHAT your dumb butt would be doing you make no sense ANY DAY on ANYTHING you do." then he chuckled and that made me even more angry and he said "Seriously Mom do you think if I cut my leg off with a chain saw my first thought would be to pick up the cell phone and call you for help?" I said yelling into my cell like a crazy woman "WHY NOT YOU CALL ME FOR EVERY SINGLE OTHER THING THAT GOES BAD IN YOUR WORLD WHY NOT THAT?" With that there was dead silence, except for my sniffling. Then he said "Momma are you crying? Don't cry." I said "YOU ARE A JACKASS." Then he said "I just wanted to know ------" and then just went right into asking what he wanted to know......as if. ME ME ME ME ME. UGH. Part of me wants to have DF call HIS house and say - MOM was out cutting the lawn and the little Pink Snapper ran over her and cut her in two. She's 1/2 the woman she used to be. Or your Mom was walking downtown and was run over by a Greyhound.........................and two Salukis. Near the dogtrack. I mean first he sends me a weird text message that says "I'm in a better place now." making me think someone has done him in and ...and then THIS? I don't think I'm answering the phone at all. Can anyone tell me what the cheapest way to ship stuff is? I have clothes and a computer - heavy stuff. I want it out of here so he has no reason to tell me he HAS to come back. Like an idiot jerk, dummy Mother I also made him an Easter basket.....I'm going to send that too - if it melts oh well..... Ask me if I care. Just don't tell me you cut your leg off with a flippin' chain saw. Cause I won't come running with a tourniquet.