Two of difficult child's friends charged with felonies

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by wantpeace, Apr 5, 2012.

  1. wantpeace

    wantpeace New Member

    Today I found out that two of difficult child's friends were in court yesterday. They are both being charged with felonies for selling amphetamines and thc. One of the boys is the one that left a bong in difficult child's car, resulting in the bail jumping charges. The other one is a smart, talented boy from a well-respected family. Now they may have felonies at the age of 18. I talked to difficult child about it and he said he had already heard about it. He's been exceptionally polite and respectful the last few days. He is acting like himself again while I keep holding my breath and waiting... Maybe hearing the news shook him up a bit.

    On another note, difficult child's counselor called me today to tell me his drug test came back negative, but they want to retest him because it was quite diluted. I didn't even tell him we were going for a drug test until right before I picked him up. I told him to drink a water bottle on the way because he doesn't like going to the bathroom in front of the guy and I always have to wait so long. I'm beginning to wonder if this place WANTS to see kids fail the tests.
  2. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    I'm not sure if the place wants to see the kids fail. I do know once they find themselves in the system, it is very hard to get out. I have a niece who went to jail 3 times (once for 3 weeks) for violating probation stemming from a MIP. My niece is guilty of being an idiot, but if you knew her you would know she is a very nice girl, respectful and kind. Yet she got in trouble and had a heck of a time getting out. By the way, my niece two years later is completely clean and is living a good life.

    Sorry to hear your sons "friends" ended up with felonies. These kids don't realize the trouble they are getting into at such a young age and how that can get in the way of future goals. Good to know your son is acting like himself again. Crossing my fingers it sticks ;)

  3. wantpeace

    wantpeace New Member

    Hi Lia - I'm not talking about the legal system wanting the kids to fail. I'm talking about the treatment center he's been going to for the past month. My difficult child hasn't been on probation yet, although he does have court next week. He's receiving treatment because difficult child and I both feel it's what he needs right now - not the court. The DA told me they've really gotten away from court-ordered treatment because of the lack of money available.

    As far as the treatment center wanting kids to fail - I made that comment because difficult child scored number less than 10 on his screen three days after being released from inpatient. The facility won't let him go to IOP until it's a 0. This time is was negative, but they said the water concentration was "a bit high" so he needs to be tested AGAIN. It takes 4 days to get the results back from the lab, so I feel he's wasting valuable time sitting here missing his counseling sessions. Also, he's completely turned off to the idea of going back now because he feels like they don't believe him.
  4. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    yeah, it's too bad that states, or counties, do not have the money for the court ordered treatment. we were hoping to get Alex court ordered treatment when he was in juvy, but as your saying court ordered treatment is expensive, and his drug test only showed marijuana (he later admitted he had no idea how only pot showed up) so judge slapped him on the wrist and told him "I better never see you in my court again."

    I'm glad your son is seeking treatment before his court date, I'm sure the judge will like that.

    Good luck next week,
  5. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Wouldn't it be nice if he was "scared straight" from his buddies consequences? -RM
  6. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    My daughter was!!! Like gottalovem said, mine snowballed and she ended up in jail for about 4 months because I did not have the money for bail. Then the boyfriend's roommate accused her of breaking in when she lived there and was moving out. She was charged and our attorney said there should not have been a charge because she lived there. Her boyfriend refused to testify against her when it went to court. The big differences with my son and daughter is that she was embarrassed and my son saw it as bragging rights.

    If your son is concerned that's a good sign in my opinion!! Prayers for the best!!! I can happen.
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I often read the police blotter in our community with great satisfaction when some of difficult child's old druggie friends, especially the dealers are arrested.

  8. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    I just want to give you a little caution. I am jaded from 3 years of pure he!! with my difficult child so take this for what it is worth, or ignore it. I say it with good intensions and support. My difficult child is always nice and compliant before court. She is even ok for about a week or 2 after treatment (until this last one). This isn't a real change, it is fear. When he exhibits change over time after court appearance, believe it is a change. It takes months for anyone to truelly make behavioral changes-difficult children, much longer.

    As for drug tests, one of the strategies to pass the MJ test ( and it works) is to drink a bunch of water. So concerns are there with all places I have been to with difficult child. I would not voice this concern about this treatment place to difficult child in the slightest. When they sniff out your weakness(difficult children), they use it to manipulate you while in treatment. Don't let him know you are concerned about the testing-let the adults know, but not him. Hang in there!
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am on pain mgmt medications, so my doctor drug tests me when I see him. It is routine and NOT because he suspects anything. He has to do it in order to be able to rx medications for me. A few years ago I had a long migraine (weeks long) and could not keep medications down for over a week of that. I was on an antiseizure medication to try to prevent migraines and for nerve pain (one medication, 2 reasons). Going off cold turkey because the migraine caused me to have a very long, very bad seizure. I ended up in the hospital. The hospital drug test showed a LOT of things including a high meth level. I have NEVER even seen meth or most illegal drugs. I saw pot back when I worked in a certain restaurant, but that is about it.

    After I got out of the hospital, my doctor was angry because they didn't call him. He knows a TON more about drug tests than the hospital docs, and the way the hospital lab did the tests caused the anti-nausea medication I was on (with an rx) to show up as meth. It is a COMMON false positive and ANY doctor/lab should know it. But in our hospital there are no false positives. They even threatened to take my kdis awya if I didn't get treatment - a letter from my doctor solved that and took the false positive report from my hospital records.

    the reason the lab wants a "do over" for the test is because it is COMMON for people to drink large amts of water to dilute any mj in their system. If someone does not seem to be serious about treatment, they look at these things and often want confirmation. They have limited space in threatment and a lot of people wanting in for various reasons. The rules are not set up to be against your difficult child, but because they KNOW what addicts do, and addicts lie. they just do - it is a sx of addiction. They also know the various tricks that are used to get clean results if you are using. The other thing that has them re-do watered down tests is that there are people who sell their clean urine to addicts. If they have several addicts wanting their urine, they will add water to the urine to have more to sell. Or to water their own down if they have used so that their clients won't come after them furious because they popped clean after buying "clean" urine. I have had people ask to buy mine, bakc when I worked at that restaurant. I have also heard of people actually taking it out of a toilet after someone who they think is clean has used the toilet. Yes, that is gross, but I heard someone at a family day session at rehab say that they had done this quite often when people forgot to flush.

    Having had SO MANY people try all of these things, and lie to them in so many ways, treatment centers just don't trust. they can't be trusting and still be effective in doing their jobs. It is NOT personal or wanting your son to fail. Your son has a disease that causes him to lie, and he is going to have to do a LOT mroe than just redo a drug test to prove that he is clean and wants recovery. It is a natural consequence of the disease. How helpful would the treatment place be if they accepted every excuse/reason for test results being off or someone behaving or seeming high or hungover or whatever? They want their clients to succeed, but they MUST verify everything the addict says because otherwise they would be failing their clients.