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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 640093" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Welcome, Erlitut.</p><p>You are wise to deal with this before he gets older. It only gets worse and harder to handle.</p><p>Nearly smashing down a door sounds like overkill. He needs a therapist so he can express his feelings in a safe place, and the therapist can give you parenting tools. No matter who the therapist is, tell him or her what your expectations are. It sounds like you want a behaviorist. And tools. And action. Say it out loud to the therapist.</p><p>A neuropsychologist test would be extremely useful. With alcoholism in the family, there is probably some neurological or behavioral issue that was being self medicated. My adopted difficult child has divorces and alcoholism on both sides of his family tree. I did not know then what I know now about how alcoholism masks sensory issues, anxiety, and bipolar, for example.</p><p>I'm so glad that your son is doing well at his new school.</p><p>If it turns out there is something going on when you finish the testing, you should request a 504. That will give him a quiet place to take tests at school, for example, or an extra day or two to turn in homework if he doesn't understand it.</p><p>Also, you may want to try warning him--in a good way--of what is going to happen ever hour or so. "Dinner will be ready in an hour. That means a half hour of homework and a half hour of TV." Then, "We're having dinner in a half hour." "Fifteen minutes." Give him time to transition.</p><p>Or, "We're going to the grocery store. That means you get to push the cart for me." So that he has an expectation.</p><p>Or, if he's like my son, he'll scream "NO!" no matter where I said we were going. Sometimes, I just had to drag him into the car. Sometimes, I didn't go out at all. I had to prioritize.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 640093, member: 3419"] Welcome, Erlitut. You are wise to deal with this before he gets older. It only gets worse and harder to handle. Nearly smashing down a door sounds like overkill. He needs a therapist so he can express his feelings in a safe place, and the therapist can give you parenting tools. No matter who the therapist is, tell him or her what your expectations are. It sounds like you want a behaviorist. And tools. And action. Say it out loud to the therapist. A neuropsychologist test would be extremely useful. With alcoholism in the family, there is probably some neurological or behavioral issue that was being self medicated. My adopted difficult child has divorces and alcoholism on both sides of his family tree. I did not know then what I know now about how alcoholism masks sensory issues, anxiety, and bipolar, for example. I'm so glad that your son is doing well at his new school. If it turns out there is something going on when you finish the testing, you should request a 504. That will give him a quiet place to take tests at school, for example, or an extra day or two to turn in homework if he doesn't understand it. Also, you may want to try warning him--in a good way--of what is going to happen ever hour or so. "Dinner will be ready in an hour. That means a half hour of homework and a half hour of TV." Then, "We're having dinner in a half hour." "Fifteen minutes." Give him time to transition. Or, "We're going to the grocery store. That means you get to push the cart for me." So that he has an expectation. Or, if he's like my son, he'll scream "NO!" no matter where I said we were going. Sometimes, I just had to drag him into the car. Sometimes, I didn't go out at all. I had to prioritize. [/QUOTE]
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