Typical outburst

[DDD]

It's not fun living, lol, but listen to the chorus. I had to do that with the kids and now RATS I have to do it with my aging husband. Weekends are the only time I can freelance or be creative. on the other hand, it really does make life easier. Hugs. DDD

 

[Malika]

It's all so obvious, really... sometimes I can be really slow when it comes to practical things As from today, supper is going to be ready and waiting for J when he gets back from school and when I go to pick him from his after-school roller skating and tennis on Tues and Weds, I'll take some pre-supper nutritious stuff with me. I think this is going to help!

 

[DDD]

Fingers crossed. I hope it helps you all like it has helped many of us. Just be prepared for times when your adult self says in your ear "I do not want to do this every day!" LOL DDD

 

[Malika]

Hmmm, yes, of course, DDD the way is never quite smooth and clear with our dear difficult children, is it? Yesterday I had supper almost on the table when J got back from school - he ate eagerly and hungrily. Tonight, he was immediately demanding bread and chocolate; I said no, supper is ready. We then had a full-blown scene with him screaming and yelling, snatching the bread from the fridge, stuffing it into his mouth. I was not good at keeping patience (again). I finally got him sat down and he ate almost all of the supper, having helped himself to a yogurt beforehand and insisting on eating it alongside his meal. Whatever works... He then asked for and got bread, butter and chocolate.
This is a child that would truly exist on bread and chocolate if he could. I also see that my doing anything for him as a fait accompli is going to pose problems in that he will like as not have to oppose it. When I pick him up from school he is exhausted and probably mentally exhausted from having been good all day at school...
But I am definitely continuing with the eating supper straightaway - apart from anything else, he is hungry and should eat straight away. Means we don't eat together but that's not so important perhaps.

 

[BusynMember]

I find that for difficult children you have to suspend what your ideal of parenting a child is and your ideal of how a child will respond to things. Sonic is so fussy about what he eats that we always feed him one of the things he will eat at Thanksgiving and do not insist he eat what we eat. He is eighteen and by now we realize we can't make him eat what he doesn't want to eat, and we certainly don't want to fight with an older teenager over stuff like that. So we have made many concessions because Sonic is different. I mean, no way around it...he is. And it's not his fault.

 

[DDD]

So true Malika and MWM. It's a field full of landmines. One thing about the eight kids is that I did not have one really picky eater. My heart goes out to the family members who had kids who would only eat x and y. My first difficult child was the third kid. I can still picture how shocked the easy child's were when difficult child insisted on having her ice cream before her dinner. On her plate I put her meat, vegetables and the bowl of ice cream. The easy child's kept looking and looking like "is Mom crazy?" difficult child ate her whole dinner...just not in standard order, lol. It probably only happened twice but it was one of those "adapt to the difficult child" moments that I still recall. by the way, difficult child had to ask politely including "please" before I capitulated. What an interesting life we all lead and have led. LOL DDD

 

[Malika]

Hmmm... I can see you have done what works with Sonic, MWM, but I am not sure that expectation that a child will eat things other than sugar and carbohydrate is an "ideal" J eats lunch without problems at school so it is obviously not impossible for him to eat a balanced diet. I quite take your point about the desirability of not entering into battles - at the same time, the more ground I give because J makes a fuss about something, the more fuss he will make... It's my fault in that I have sometimes allowed him to have bread and chocolate before supper is ready - now the schedule has changed and he still wants his bread and chocolate. But once we get into the firm routine of him eating supper straightaway, it will be okay. Habit is all, I find...

 

[InsaneCdn]

It's my fault in that I have sometimes allowed him to have bread and chocolate before supper is ready - now the schedule has changed and he still wants his bread and chocolate.

Don't take it away... change when he gets it! As in, as part of desert, maybe?
Bread isn't too bad as an appetizer, either.

 

[Malika]

Yes (as per earlier post ), I have no problem with bread and chocolate as pudding.

 

[buddy]

Yes (as per earlier post ), I have no problem with bread and chocolate as pudding.

warning: off topic post--more cultural word differences... making me miss my English family. I actually checked online, no luck.

I forgot about that one Malika!!! pudding meaning dessert. for us pudding can be a dessert. Oh and cookies and cakes are different too... I made soft chocolate chip cookies when I lived in England and they felt they were cakes. I just thought they tasted yummy.

 

[BusynMember]

LOL, I thought pudding just meant what it means in the US and I agree that J can't just eat pudding and bread. With Sonic, we make what he likes that is good for him (or we did when he was small). We would literally throw up if you gave him something he didn't like. And he wasn't doing it on purpose. It would gross him out so badly, he'd throw up, so that was no good. Now if he doesn't like what we are eating, he has to cook himself. Which he does.