... four days before her very first formal dance. Ugh. She is very, very fair. So pale she could be a Disney cartoon. Soft, curly long hair, sandy brown with-red highlights, all natural. Her prom dress is blue. difficult child called about an hr ago and asked if I would help D dye her hair black. "Now?" "Yeah." "No. Not before the dance. I'll do it afterward, next week. It will look horrible." "It's none of your business." "Yes it is. You just asked me for help." "Obviously not. GoodBYE." I immediately texted her mom and told her what had transpired. I really wanted to text, "Take away the box of hair color!" but she'll just give a weak, "No," and not follow through. Her mom is dying, happens to be mentally ill and mean as a wild dog (I've met her. She'll rant and rave until you come into the bedroom, then drop a spoon on the floor and demand, "Pick it up," and only sleeps in 2-hr increments, and that's just beginning), and Adult Protective Services came out the other day and told her they'd rec'd a call from the dr and they had to check on her mom. T, D's mom, was in tears. Her house is, admittedly, a mess, she's divorced, and she is not working. She suffers from depression, no longer drinks, and is dependent upon child support from her ex. Having her mom live with-them is a huge mistake, but she promised her dad on his deathbed that she would do it. The mom constantly has diarrhea to the point where she bleeds, has a huge bed sore that occurred while she was in assisted living (the same place I had P 3 yr's ago, and they do the bare minimum, so no surprise there), and while in the facility, she got down to 78 lbs. She flat out refused to eat for the staff. Once T got her home, she ate and ate. She gained weight. She's been in and out of the hospital for UTIs and diarrhea 3 X (incl Cdiff), and only this last visit caused a problem with-the dr. He noted how skinny she was and T argued back that she has actually gained wt at home with-her. Two days after that, T went to the hospital to find that another dr has been assigned to her mom and that the first dr was going to seek custody. Or at least, state custody. The new dr and case mgr told T not to worry. Yeah, like that will happen. And the worst happened--Adult Prot Svcs came by. So T has difficult child and his girlfriend cleaning the house today to prepare for the next visit. And I'm sure that black hair dye is the least of T's worries. But she does not need her daughter looking like that, or even wasting $8 on something useless. Sigh. difficult child will back up his girlfriend no matter what she wants to do. That's love, right? Thanks for letting me vent.