I don't think it is "funny" to have husband deal with unmedicated difficult child if husband is the one who forgot to give difficult child his medications. With some medications withdrawal symptoms can set in within an hour or two of a forgotten dose and make the person miserable. Unless husband would abuse difficult child it is simply logical that husband would have to handle the mess he created. It is the logical consequence for husband, esp if husband is told that he MUST make extra allowances and be super patient with difficult child because it is NOT difficult children fault that he is unmedicated.
If the difficult child was a teen and forgot his medications it would be another story. But I think your difficult child is about 7 and that is far too young to be responsible for his own medications. So difficult child should NOT be punished for acting out that happened because an adult neglected to give him his medications.
You need to find a system that will prevent missed medications as much as possible. A pill box with a box for each time of the day that difficult child takes medications is a must. That way it can be set up and you will know at a glance if medications have been given or not. Make sure the bottom of the box has a note with the names and dosages of each medication and the time of day it is taken so that it is easier for you to set it up.
Linking medications to a meal, snack, or some other daily event can help. medications can be given just before breakfast, right after lunch, at dinner and at bedtime, or something like that. Be wary of linking it to something like going to the school bus because the bus does not come every day. It is important not to skip days and it is really easy to skip a dose if the linked activity doesn't happen that day. been there done that myself.
While your difficult child is too young to be responsible for his medications he is not too young to be involved. You should ask him what he thinks might help all of you to remember his medications. He may have good ideas. He should also know the name of each medicine and EXACTLY what the pill/capsule looks like. Talk with him about what the medications are supposed to do. It is also very important to talk with him periodically about how he feels when he takes his medications. Does he like the feeling or dislike it? Why? Does he see that he behaves differently when he takes his medications (if he does)? How do others treat him when he has taken his medication and when he hasn't? Does he like the way they treat him when he takes the medications? Why or why not? It should not be a big long interrogation, just a chat.
I suggest all of this because it is HIS body that the medications work on. If you don't ask him about these things you won't know. He may think that some side effect that is unpleasant is how the medications are supposed to work and that you know because you give him the medications. It is still pretty common for kids to think their parents know what they are feeling/thinking simply because we are the parents, the ones in charge.
By having your son know what each of his medications looks like you will empower him to avoid taking the wrong medications. Pharmacies do sometimes dispense the wrong medication. If you don't know what it is supposed to look like you are in a world of hurt. By asking these questions you will prepare your difficult child to take control of his own health when he is older.
The questions about how he feels on and off the medications and if he likes how he feels and how other people treat him on and off medications are to help him see that the medications truly do help (if they do). It can help you avoid medication refusal in the future. I have long been shocked that my difficult child never refused medications. The few times he thought about it and tried it to see what happened he was still little enough for me to wrestle him down and pill him like the cat. He still remembers it. Mostly he wanted to see what I would do and if he could take control of that aspect of his life. He was about 8 or so, I think. A year or so ago I asked him why he never really refused his medications. He said that he knew if they made him feel awful all he had to do was to tell me and I would either treat the side effects or change the medication or remove it. He likes how he feels and behaves when he has taken his medications. He likes how others treat him when he is medicated. Wiz also said that if I hadn't periodically asked him about it then he might have not made the connection between the medications and how he behaves and how he is treated. I think that many of our kids miss that connection if we don't help them.
Maybe your son could help you and husband remember his medications if you put up a sticker chart and each time he takes the medications he gets a sticker or whatever. Then the whole family gets a reward (movie night? trip to the park?) if no doses are missed for a certain time? That way difficult child could remind you or husband if you forgot. Maybe if he remembers and you and/or husband forgot then difficult child gets a small treat/trinket? These are just ideas.
