I'm broke. easy child is 18 years old. I have a little extra money this Christmas, so I got difficult child a new laptop. She needs it. Hers is dying, she does use it all the time, and she is getting into multimedia type things - may very well be something she goes into as a career. Plus, I got her one that has plenty of room for growth, is a good brand, and should last her throughout high school. I got a lot of computer for the money. I put a lot of consideration and research into the purchase. I could have thrown down a little money for a cheap laptop, just to replace it in a year, Know what I mean?? Anyway..... easy child knew that I wasn't buying much for anyone else. He was totally ok with that. In fact, he told me not to get him anything. Which, of course, I couldn't do. I want to get him something. I wish that I could do more - that's what I love about Christmas - and I feel incredibly horrible, guilty, pathetic, whatever, because I can't. Then.... His DF and I went shopping tonight for some Christmas stuff - wrapping paper, lights for outside since ours died (do you know that *no one* has any lights?), etc. And I asked her what easy child would like for Christmas. She told me a new controller for his PS3. Ok. It was marked down to $40; that was doable. And I said something along the lines of...this is all I can get because money is so tight. And she said, "But you got difficult child the laptop and easy child does so much for you and difficult child doesn't do anything." And I just stood there. I didn't know how to respond. I already feel bad that I can't do more. And he does do a lot for me. So, I bought him at $200 GPS for his car. It really is a perfect gift for him. But now I'm freaking out about money, feeling a bit resentful because, yes, he does a lot, but they've been living here rent free since June....but I don't feel like I can take the GPS back....because I want to be able to do this, because I feel guilty, because he does so much for me....I don't know. And now I'm worried about what to get DF for Christmas. Cause I certainly have zero money left for presents. I *love* Christmas. It is my absolute favorite time of the year. From the day after Thanksgiving, I'm just in heaven. I have actually cried when it was time to take the tree down. But, right now....I'm not enjoying it so much. I'm not the kind of person to get "guilted" into doing something. I don't know what the deal is with me, other than I already have my own internal guilt going on. But, I will say, as much as I care about easy child's DF, she does make me feel like I need to do X, Y, or Z. Ok...I know *she* can't *make* me feel anything that I don't allow...but you know what I mean. There's something in the dynamic that throws me off kilter.