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Substance Abuse
Ugh the pressure has started.....need strength
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 629250" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Thanks all. Well I caved at least partially. He called us tonight when we had just arrived at the airport. I talked with him while husband was waiting for our bags. He said can we talk about the canteen in a respectful way. He said he understood tough love but there was a difference between tough love and suffering! The thing is tonight he sounded so despondent and vulnerable that it made me sad.... and sad gets me every time!</p><p></p><p>And he did say he understood why I wanted to do this.... and I asked him why and he said because you think I am not learning anything! I said well thats true.... anyway we did have some back but we also had some good communication in the process of it. At one point after telling him he has no idea of what he has put me through I told him that i really loved him, and that he needs to really get that... and my voice broke as I was almost crying. He said yes and you have to stop otherwise I will cry and I dont want to do that in front of people here!!</p><p></p><p>Anyway so I did run over (we live 5 min from the jail) and put some money in the canteen for him. Less than in the past but something. I just couldnt not do it.... and as my brother told me, putting money in the canteen is not going to hurt him. And I think that is true.</p><p></p><p>I know in another thread we have talked about some of the issues of adoption... and one thing I think adoptive kids deal with is the whole issue of abandonment..... and so because of that I think I want to bend over backwards never to abandon him. That is partly my issue.</p><p></p><p>Anyway that is where I am tonight.... home sweet home.... and feeling tired and vulnerable with difficult child issues.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 629250, member: 15801"] Thanks all. Well I caved at least partially. He called us tonight when we had just arrived at the airport. I talked with him while husband was waiting for our bags. He said can we talk about the canteen in a respectful way. He said he understood tough love but there was a difference between tough love and suffering! The thing is tonight he sounded so despondent and vulnerable that it made me sad.... and sad gets me every time! And he did say he understood why I wanted to do this.... and I asked him why and he said because you think I am not learning anything! I said well thats true.... anyway we did have some back but we also had some good communication in the process of it. At one point after telling him he has no idea of what he has put me through I told him that i really loved him, and that he needs to really get that... and my voice broke as I was almost crying. He said yes and you have to stop otherwise I will cry and I dont want to do that in front of people here!! Anyway so I did run over (we live 5 min from the jail) and put some money in the canteen for him. Less than in the past but something. I just couldnt not do it.... and as my brother told me, putting money in the canteen is not going to hurt him. And I think that is true. I know in another thread we have talked about some of the issues of adoption... and one thing I think adoptive kids deal with is the whole issue of abandonment..... and so because of that I think I want to bend over backwards never to abandon him. That is partly my issue. Anyway that is where I am tonight.... home sweet home.... and feeling tired and vulnerable with difficult child issues. TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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Ugh the pressure has started.....need strength
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