Oh Ick I am still reeling a bit from a phone call and trying to decide if I should do anything more.... So the background. My son spent his 10th grade year in a TBS out of state. He came back home for 11th grade. When he first came back he was doing really really well and was not using drugs. He met and started going with a really nice girl who was very nice and clearly really liked him and was very anti drug. The first 6 months were great. Her parents were really nice and were wonderful to him. Her mom and I became friends. At some point things started slowly going downhill.... my guess is it coincided with him started to smoke pot again but I really don't know. Anyway a whole bunch of things happened and he really betrayed her parents trust big time and eventually they had enough and wanted nothing to do with him. Her dad especially. I really couldn't blame them because if it was my daughter I would have felt exactly the same way. The mom and I stayed friends and she was very supportive to me through a lot of really bad times we went through with him. Eventually after a 2nd 6 months they broke up finally.... after a whole lot of back and froths. My son was a jerk in many ways but she also had her piece of staying in the relationship. My son was kicked out of the HS as a senior and that helped really end it. The mom and I stayed friends. So the two kids had some contact over the next year but not a whole lot. This fall when my son got into rehab I heard from the mom that he revealed some more stuff to her daughter that was very upsetting.... and I think at that point the mom lost all sympathy with my son (before this although she was upset with him she still cared about him and I think felt that underneath it all he is a good person). Since then I haven't seen her and she may not really want to be friends with me. It is a bit awkward and I understand that. It was amazing really that through all the junk we had managed to remain friends. Part of it is I get what a jerk my son can be and didn't make excuses for him. OK so now he is out of state, many many miles away and their daughter is in college. He seems to be doing well and is talking about going to community college where he is. So now for the ugh part. I got a call from her dad today. He is pretty upset because my son called their daughter and was blaming her for his predicament. If that is true that is really pretty outlandish and not a good sign of recovery in my opinion. Their daughter was very upset and Dad is feeling pretty protective, understandably. It needs to stop. I said I would talk to my son and his therapist and that he is far away and if he comes back I will let them know. He was nice to me on the phone, he is not mad at me, he is just a concerned dad. Oh Ick.... I was hoping we were past this stuff. So I called my son. We had a good conversation, he claims she has been calling him and he has no problem not talking to her. He did not fly off the handle at me for calling him about it (a good sign of recovery). I have no idea if I should believe him or not. My guess is they are both involved in things escalating but I don't really know. I did email his therapist. I am still feeling kind of icky though....for one thing I hate the fact that after all this time and while he is supposedly doing well I get this signal that he is not. I feel bad for the girl that she and he are still dealing with whatever. I feel bad that her parents hate him and feel he is scary and at the same time feel bad they even have to worry about him. Sometimes it is so hard being the mother of a difficult child young adult isn't it. I am wondering if I should email the girls mom just to reassure her about the steps I did take, or whether I should just leave it all alone..... that really there is nothing gore I can do.