Ughh School Pictures

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Stella Johnson, Oct 2, 2008.

  1. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Why do I ever waste money on them??? For years difficult child always does this weird smile in the pictures. Like a forced goofy smile.

    Well this year, no goofy smile. One of her new school tops has sort of wide neck. Instead of wearing it the way she is supposed to, she pulled it completely down on one shoulder and her bra strap is showing.

    Her teacher emailed me when it happened because difficult child told her I told her to wear it that way.:mad:

    When I got the pictures I brought it up with- difficult child again. She admitted she told the teacher this because that's the way she likes it.

    Middle school is going to be the death of me. :faint: I do NOT dress this way. I know this "look" is everywhere just drives me crazy.

    Socially difficult child is still about a 8 or 9 year old but she has the body of a 15 year old which really scares me. She wants to dress like what she thinks is a "teenager."

    I don't think I will be giving the grandparents copies of the pics this year. That shirt is about to do a disappearing act.

  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    My son is in 8th grade this year and we have had this happen every time pictures are taken at school the entire time he's been in middle school. I don't worry about it anymore. I found a professional place that does digital photography and being on a cd and computer, photos cost much less than they used to. So, I took him out last year and told him what to wear (dress pants- but I let him choose from"acceptable" shirts) and those were the photos given to his Nana. I don't spend one cent on school photos anymore.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Over the years (LOTS of years) I have traveled the school picture road and it seemed to get worse each year! Back in the day they took pictures, sent the proofs home and you sent money back with your order.
    No more. In recent years you send money with your kid IF you think you might want copies of the pictures. In my case those paid for pictures usually ended up in the garbage!

    My LAST kid is a Senior this year. I can't believe this....but it is true!!

    The 2nd Saturday of Senior year was the Final picture day! Yes, IF your child wanted to be shown in the Senior section of the yearbook you had to get the kid to the school on Saturday morning with $25. The info
    stated "make sure you bring or wear the clothes you like best" for the photo session.

    Can you all believe that???????? No black draped girls. No tux wearing guys. Weird.

    GFGmom didn't take difficult child because "he didn't feel well and she didn't want to come pick up the money from me". :mad: So much for yearbooks!

    I agree with you all. Do private photos and get your moneys worth. It's important to "see" your kids progression in photos as they grow up so darn fast. DDD
  4. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    They all want to dress like Britney Spears!!!! lol

    I hope the teacher knew not to believe her. I can relate. I would be so embarrassed if you all could see some of the outfits my difficult child leaves the house in. You should see her myspace page.....uuuurghhhhh!!!! It drives me crazy. :)
  5. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    One of my friends looked her babysitter up on Myspace. Her front page picture is her, a 16 yr old, wearing nothing but a Beebe shirt that barely covers her rear and she's hugging a stripper pole.
  6. maril

    maril New Member

    All I can say is :surprise: but I guess that is the intention - to get attention! I am afraid to look at my difficult children MySpace page(s). I have seen stuff here and there when he's been at home and logged on and, also, my daughter has told me a thing or two, as he has talked to some of her friends through MySpace. Not too thrilling. :( That's not to say that we didn't try - we did the whole talk about internet safety, have had computer restrictions for the home computer, etc. As well, the school sends home paperwork at the beginning of the year that outlines appropriate internet use, which parents and kids must read, sign, and return.

    difficult child's computer use has dropped off and he has moved onto other things...
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    You guys are making my ears and eyes hurt.... This was the first year that I could get K to keep her hair from being mangled and no stains by pictures... who knows if she smiled. N's are in 2 weeks! She does the goofy smile also.

    As for the pole dances... the little girls on the playground at the School all do this little stripper slide down the pole... they spin, twirl, legs in the air... I swear just like a stripper! I asked one if her Mom taught her the moves?
    She laughed and said they all learn it in gymnastics.
    I am no saint but husband and I are blown away when we see them... 7 yo!!!
  8. Pookybear66

    Pookybear66 New Member

    Stella and others-
    You all made me laugh, which is a good thing every now and then. My ds had BEAUTIFUL pictures when he was younger. When he got to school, yes he started doing that goofy smile thing. I always pick out the clothes for my kids (luckily they're still young enough to be able to do this). The costs do keep going up here as well and you must also prepay and NOW there are no do-overs if you don't like them! Only for technical issues whatever they are??!! Also, my family mostly husband expects us to have family portraits done for the holidays. So with about $40 for each kid(so x2) and family pics about $70 and none of them really turning out great-I also ask myself why.

    When I answer, it's because I love my family. You will be surprised at how much you will forget over the years. The stress of life (especially life with difficult child's) can make you forget your name somedays. Years from now you will have those pictures to look back on so that when the fog clears, and the tears dry, you can say "Yep, that was how my kid was back then and now look at how far he/she has come."
  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I've found that kids all go through a stage of not knowing how to smile for photos. Almost all kids, anyway. Our wedding photos were a bit marred by my niece being very self-conscious about her missing front teeth, that she tried to smile while hiding her teeth. Not a good look. But we got some candid snaps which looked lovely.

    We always had awful school photos, mostly. We've had a few good ones that are priceless. One of easy child and difficult child 1 when they were at the local school - they had messy hair, difficult child 1's shirt was crumpled and had slipped round a bit, easy child's school uniform collar was folded up on one side. But their faces - you get the impression the photographer had just told them a funny but slightly naughty joke. easy child is laughing - hard - her missing teeth obvious, difficult child 1 has a tongue just beginning to poke out of a cheeky smile. Despite my kids looking like wild things, it is a happy, natural shot. NOT the sort you could give most grandmas, though.

    easy child 2/difficult child 2 is beautiful. Very photogenic. So is difficult child 3. And yet - school photographers managed to do a ghastly job on them, every year.

    We began taking our own photos. For a while, easy child 2/difficult child 2 was working as a child model and actress, which required annual professional shots. However, digital cameras have meant that we take out own. Then the boys got involved. This has meant that I have GOOD photos of my three youngers, taken annually. And lately, taken by me, so I get to choose what I like.

    About the bra strap showing thing - my big beef with that, is showing underwear. I dislike any fashion which allows underwear to show. But there is a way - I instilled the same dislike of underwear showing, in my girls. They could wear off-the-shoulder, but had to do it without showing bra straps. By making them equally self-conscious as I am about this, it led to them cutting back on this because they discovered how difficult it is to set this up and still be comfortable and feel supported.

    So instead of losing the top (right away), go out and buy your daughter some clear bra straps. They can be swapped over for her regular bra if she wants to wear off-the-shoulder. Of course, they still show a little but it looks a little more natural. It also makes it obvious that she is making a choice to wear her top this way, instead of the usual implications of the look, which is that the bra strap reveal is just accidental. If your daughter can learn to go for the look but avoid the underwear reveal, then she's far less likely to do this impulsively. She will need to plan.

    Besides clear straps you can also get jewelled ones. We bought some for easy child 2/difficult child 2 last Christmas.

    My problems with easy child 2/difficult child 2 has been, she LOOKS so much younger that when she was 18, she chose to wear some VERY adult designs just to flaunt her now-adult status. We went to a professional performers night (I was her chaperone) and she wore a long, black, revealing dress which required one of those stick-on bras. No way would she allow a bra strap to show.

    THe next year when they had a similar occasion, she had this out of her system and chose to wear something much more conservative.

    We also used to look out for cheap photo packages and take the whole family in. We've had a few family portraits for $10, which included a poster-sized framed print. We were happy!

  10. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Ugh! Nothing like a well-endowed 11 YO to make a mother tear her hair out. I used to have a rule with my daughter -- she got X amount to spend for clothing at the beginning of the school year but I had total veto rights. That meant no wide necks, nothing off the shoulder, no bare midriffs, no short-shorts or micro-minis, etc. It helped that her school had at least a semi-dress code. Personally, I wish all schools just had uniforms. It makes it so much easier for all in the long run.

    by the way -- I wouldn't worry about middle school. I'd worry about now. Kids are getting into the whole opposite sex thing younger and younger. The problem is when the girl is young and looks older, older male teens will happily take advantage of her. You really are going to have to watch out for her a lot. Good luck on this one!
  11. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I had a student, ten years old, in full make-up including eye-liner.

    I froze as she walked by and asked her "do I see on your face what I THINK I see on your face???"

    I've seen former students who I KNOW are 11, stating they are 16 on MySpace in provocative poses. Of course, the parents are completely unaware because they don't supervise their kid's computer activities.

    My biggest clothing battles with difficult child were during middle school. We had the infamous three year "thong" battle that spanned 6-10th grade. She snuck a few times, but I think I always caught her. I said she had to wait until she was 16. Of course, I was a horrible villian and she was the ONLY one not allowed to wear thongs.

    Now that she's 17, and can wear them, she doesn't. Too uncomfortable.
  12. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Senior pictures have turned in to such a production number! When I was a kid our senior pictures were in black & white and they took four poses - the girls had to wrap up in some fuzzy feather thing (like Gypsy Rose Lee!) and the boys all wore the same suit coat. When my daughter graduated, they had a ton of poses but the girls still had to wrap fuzzy things around their shoulders. Five years later when my son graduated the boys wore a tux and formal shirt that were split up the back (probably borrowed from a funeral home!). But they also could bring their own clothes and have a 'casual' picture taken and both were put in the year book. I have an 11x14 of each of their senior pictures in matching frames on my living room wall - my daughter in all her early 90's permed 'big haired' glory, and my son looking exactly like he still looks today.

    My all-time favorite school pictures were the ones of my son in kindergarten. I opened the envelope to find two little proofs side by side instead of just one! He had pulled off the nice sweater I made him wear - his hair was sticking up all over his head and nobody combed it. The pictures are exactly alike, no smile at all, his head in exactly the same position in both pictures, the only difference is his eyes! In the first one, his head is facing right at the camera but his eyes are looking straight up at the ceiling! And you can tell exactly what must have happened next ... the photographer must have said, "Look down!", because in the second one his head hasn't moved but his eyes were looking straight down at the floor! To see the two pictures side by side was hysterical! I laughed till I cried! I still have those little pictures around somewhere.
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2008
  13. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    I have no idea what to expext this year, difficult child I's is likely to look like a mug shot (how fitting) and difficult child II normally takes a great picture but this time he was in a rare mood, so we will have to see.
  14. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    I do need to start getting professional pictures again. The only thing that stinks is that these are going in the school yearbook.

    They used to send home proofs until about 3rd grade. They switched photography companies. This one requires orders and money up front. Of course later, if you already paid for the other photos you can order more. They only do one pose and the prices are ridiculous.
    Saturday picture day would not happen here, at least not for my difficult child. lol

    The teacher didn't believe her. It's just embarrassing that difficult child says this and on top of it thinks she will get away with it.

    That is the reason my difficult child is only allowed to use her laptop in the kitchen or den. It will never be used in the privacy of her bedroom. Kids get in too much trouble doing that.

    Good thing my difficult child has never been in gymnastics. I would yank her out the first time I saw her pole dance.

    I let difficult child pick one more expensive outfit for school. She picked this one and it is cute but we had an understanding from the beginnign how this shirt would be worn. She agreed. She has worn it before and not done the shoulder thing. I don't know what got into her. Being around middle school kids has not been a good experience for either of us.

    I do need to find her some clear strapped bras. I have to fight her every morning about wearing a bra now. Last year she didn't need one but wore one constantly, even to bed. Now she NEEDS one and won't wear it. says it is too uncomfortable.:916blusher:

    I always take her to buy her clothes. She knew how she was to wear it. The shirt isn't even made to be pulled off the shoulder like that. My difficult child has her own way of doing everything. Drives me crazy.
    I'm worried about middle school because she is in middle school. I'm living my nightmare now.:faint:

    I'll kill difficult child if she ever even thinks about wearing a thong. I assure you I will never buy one for her and I'm her only source of money.
    My difficult child is also trying to wear make up every once in a while now. I allow her to wear lip gloss but that is it. With my difficult child's fine motor skills eyeliner would look more like that stuff football players put under their eyes.:bag:

    That is too cute. You probably werent happy about it back then but now it would be funny. Just not when you are living in the moment. Senior pictures have all changed here too. I favor the classical ones.

    I hope it's not a mugshot!:surprise:

  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Can you send them back as "inappropriate" and have retakes doen? Charge difficult child for the cost of the new package? (out of allowance, or her budget for movies, activities, fun stuff)

    I swear that from 3rd grade until 9th grade my difficult child had this horrible look on his face. Yes, I once posted that it looked like he was either possessed or about to yak up a volkswagon. That is the perfect example of his expression. But if he did something inappropriate (like writing Satan is King or something with cuss words on his shirt just B4 pics were taken, then HE had to pay for new ones) then there was little the photographer could do to change it.

    BUT for the shirt exposing bra strap on a middle school child, the teacher AND the photographer should have insisted on her wearing her shirt appropriately. Teacher should KNOW you, and photog should KNOW this is inappropriate. At the very LEAST, the teacher should have called you (and NOT had difficult child call you, cause you KNOW difficult child would have made the call, been told NO, and then told teacher Yes. Teacher would not have very many calls to make, and could have called you early in the day when difficult child was wearing her shirt that way.

    Sorry, I would refuse to pay for the pics, refuse to keep them, whatever. Send tehm back to school and tell school you insist on retakes.
  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Oh, and take teh new top away (donate to thrift store adn have her have one less shirt to wear, or get a shirt from thrift store to replace it - a BORING shirt). If she is thinking that is how she should wear the top, and you disagree, then the shirt should go. It will save a lot of fighting. For both you and teacher.
  17. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    That's a good point about giving the shirt away. If the shirt comes off the shoulder so easily, then clearly the shirt doesn't fit properly, does it? She shouldn't wear shirts that are so loose they can come off the shoulder so easily. She will have to wear a shirt that is tailored so this can't happen.

    I have trouble wearing certain kinds of shoes - I need ones with a strap across the instep. So I have to accept I just can't wear shoes with low cutaways down to the toes and no strap. In the same way, she will have to accept that if she has very sloping shoulders that allow her shirt to slide off so easily (do not openly acknowledge that you know the shirt had help) then - no more shirts like that.

    We tend to have compulsory school uniforms in Australian schools. However, I didn't wear school uniform when I was in primary school (elementary). But I also didn't have free choice, either - my mother made me a number of dresses to a similar pattern, all conservative but practical (which I could wear at other times too). And in high school, on those rare occasions when we were permitted to wear plain clothes and not school uniform, we still had a fairly strict moral dress code and would be sent home if clothing was unsuitable. "Unsuitable" was subject to interpretation by the school but generally included students choosing to wear clothing inappropriately (such as girls belting their school uniforms so high you could see their knickers or undoing their shirt buttons past a certain point). I was in high school during the anti-Vietnam years in the early 70s; anti-war badges were banned from being publicly worn at school. I remember one boy who was sent home to change because he had worn a shirt with such thin fabric that the anti-war badge could still be seen from inside the pocket of his shirt.

    School is a place of learning. You can still look good if you want, but it shouldn't be the primary aim. A girl who wants to look sexy should save that kind of wear for occasions (and times) when it is appropriate. In the same manner, it is also inappropriate to wear your sexiest outfits to the office. What is acceptable for the office may be conservative for the pub after work, but you don't dress purely for the after-work pub visit. If you don't have suitable clothing for school, people can only assume you are too poor to have a decent wardrobe for all occasions. Surely that means that if you wear your sexy clothing to school (or the workplace) then it's because you own nothing suitable?


    I really wish they'd get it - but it's the beginning of the battles we fight, due to peer pressure.