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Substance Abuse
Ultimatum Given, now Trepidation....
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 59248" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You've come so far in your thinking since you first joined the board.</div></div></p><p></p><p>Yeah, I guess I have. And I don't know if that's a good thing or not. :rolleyes:</p><p></p><p>When this started, I was a huddled mass of fear, hostage to my son's whims and terrified by the fact that he might run away. Lordy the things that might happen to his poor, innocent soul if he was out in the world all by himself.</p><p></p><p> :rofl: :rofl:</p><p>Yep, I've come a long way since then.</p><p></p><p>Now, I'm just angry. The son I thought I'd lose if he ever ran away from home is, I now know, already gone. Checked out a year ago or more, replaced by this manipulative, pothead zombie with the mental powers of the Shadow to "cloud men's minds". Not mine, not any more.</p><p></p><p>I should be sad about this, but I'm still too dadgum angry. A year ago, the thought of him leaving reduced me to tears. Now, I'd be pretty close to tears of joy if he carried his duff out into the world. Then he'd find out just how hard it is to make a living for yourself, much less for others in your family. </p><p></p><p>And even though he'd never admit it, he just might finally understand how much love you have to have for someone to sacrifice and provide for them the way we have for our children (and the way most other parents do for their children, too).</p><p></p><p>So yes, I have changed. Where there was fear, now there is anger. And resentment. And betrayal. And a profound sense of loss for the child I loved. I still fear for him, but I no longer fear his leaving as much as I fear his staying and continuing to passively victimize us like a leech that cannot be removed.</p><p></p><p>Is that progress? I dunno. It's a change, though. Whether it's for the better remains to be seen. Fear is damaging and debilitating, but so is anger and rage. Ultimately, neither are good for you. But so far, McWeedy hasn't seen fit to act like a semi-rational human, nor has he given us any reason for anything but anger and resentment.</p><p></p><p>At some point, I hope that changes. For now, though, it will have to suffice. At least anger allows me to act, where fear kept me hostage. I don't think McWeedy is going to like the monster he's created. But after all, he's worked so very, very hard to craft my image exactly the way he wanted it. In fact, <strong><em>I'm only becoming he person he's already told everyone I am!</em></strong> And as his loving father, I shouldn't disappoint the poor child, should I?</p><p> :crazy:</p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 59248, member: 3579"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You've come so far in your thinking since you first joined the board.</div></div> Yeah, I guess I have. And I don't know if that's a good thing or not. [img]:rolleyes:[/img] When this started, I was a huddled mass of fear, hostage to my son's whims and terrified by the fact that he might run away. Lordy the things that might happen to his poor, innocent soul if he was out in the world all by himself. [img]:rofl:[/img] [img]:rofl:[/img] Yep, I've come a long way since then. Now, I'm just angry. The son I thought I'd lose if he ever ran away from home is, I now know, already gone. Checked out a year ago or more, replaced by this manipulative, pothead zombie with the mental powers of the Shadow to "cloud men's minds". Not mine, not any more. I should be sad about this, but I'm still too dadgum angry. A year ago, the thought of him leaving reduced me to tears. Now, I'd be pretty close to tears of joy if he carried his duff out into the world. Then he'd find out just how hard it is to make a living for yourself, much less for others in your family. And even though he'd never admit it, he just might finally understand how much love you have to have for someone to sacrifice and provide for them the way we have for our children (and the way most other parents do for their children, too). So yes, I have changed. Where there was fear, now there is anger. And resentment. And betrayal. And a profound sense of loss for the child I loved. I still fear for him, but I no longer fear his leaving as much as I fear his staying and continuing to passively victimize us like a leech that cannot be removed. Is that progress? I dunno. It's a change, though. Whether it's for the better remains to be seen. Fear is damaging and debilitating, but so is anger and rage. Ultimately, neither are good for you. But so far, McWeedy hasn't seen fit to act like a semi-rational human, nor has he given us any reason for anything but anger and resentment. At some point, I hope that changes. For now, though, it will have to suffice. At least anger allows me to act, where fear kept me hostage. I don't think McWeedy is going to like the monster he's created. But after all, he's worked so very, very hard to craft my image exactly the way he wanted it. In fact, [b][i]I'm only becoming he person he's already told everyone I am![/i][/b] And as his loving father, I shouldn't disappoint the poor child, should I? [img]:crazy:[/img] Mikey [/QUOTE]
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Ultimatum Given, now Trepidation....
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