Ultrasounds and difficult child bfs for easy child...ramblings

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by hearts and roses, Jun 4, 2009.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    difficult child is having an ultrasound today midday. I'm going with her. She has to drink something like a gallon of water beforehand (remember that feeling? Ugh). She has been on the depo shot for over a year and hasn't had a period in that long. Her pain is in her lower abdomen and so the ultrasound is precautionary in nature. She is also suffering with a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and on antibiotics for that. In addition, her Dr is watching difficult child's weight as she continues to lose and lose. She's down to 98 lbs now and still slightly anemic. She continues to eat haphazardly, her dr continues to convince her to stop drinking so much coffee and to smoke less, which difficult child is trying, just not so effectively. I am trying to hold a positive thought that none of this is serious and that she will bounce back. With difficult child, if it isn't one thing, it's another. IOW, if she's emotionally on track and not having mood swings, her physical health takes a dump or vice versa. I'd like to see her overall health even out for a while. That would be nice.

    In other news, we have deduced that easy child's boyfriend is a difficult child. I've always suspected. easy child told me that her boyfriend spent the better part of 5 hours in the psychiatric ward of the hospital yesterday in a stripped down room. He went in because he felt he was suffering from a panic attack and the staff responded by putting him in an isolated room to 'wait' for the Dr. Turns out they were monitoring him...watching to see how long it would take for him to truly panic or flip out?? WTH? Anyway, after 4.5 hours, a Dr came in, removed him from the room and brought him into another room where they offered him to spend the night and meet with someone from psychiatric in the morning (meaning today) or see his regular Dr instead. He chose to see his regular Dr instead (he will be seen this morning). The hospital Dr said that easy child's boyfriend (we will call him Casper) should see a psychiatrist for medications for his anxiety and they gave him Klonipin. They also said that he should see a counselor. When he was telling this to easy child, he told her, "I never told you any of this before because I was afraid you wouldn't want to deal with it" (this, based on easy child's history with her difficult child sister). Anyway, he went on to tell her that he's had these panic attacks before - as early as 10 years old, though he doesn't know why. He also told her that the other night at dinner while Casper and H were talking that he felt one coming on and that was why he left the house and went for a walk by himself.

    Casper was diagnosis'ed with ADHD was a kid, he definitely has insecurity issues, he had some trouble with the law and because of that he feels there are certain jobs he cannot have even though those illegal activities are behind him. He's a good guy overall, really, but we have always felt like he was holding back around us. He's always joking, never serious. If someone asks him a serious question, he will turn it into a joking situation and laugh nervously to deflect the question. This latest piece of the puzzle just helps me to understand him a bit more.

    easy child is worried that since he hasn't been as forthcoming about this issue, what other issues may he be hiding from her as well. I wasn't sure exactly how to advise her except for her to explain to him that she wants to know what's up with him when it's happening; let him see that is opening herself up to him so he can trust her more with his emotions. Like my H, unfortunately, I can see that Casper is emotionally challenged and I can't help but worry for easy child.
  2. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi Jo,

    Sure hope things "even out" with your difficult child...hope the ultrasound goes well today, let us know what comes about, k.

    As for easy child and difficult child boyfriend...Sure sounds familiar.
    My easy child (when she HAD a boyfriend, she now likes "girls") anyway, she had this one boyfriend who was VERY similar to what you describe about easy child's boyfriend. He was often joking and not very serious around us, somewhat sarcastic too. Turns out, his mother has anorexia as well as a very serious drinking problem...she's an alcoholic.
    easy child finally had enough of this boyfriend not opening up to her very easily, not talking to her about what was truly going on with him. She broke up with him.
    easy child really likes to help others solve their problems, ya know...and this boyfriend was just not "going there".

    Hope the klonopin helps the boyfriend...but he must be careful, can be highly addictive. It is a benzo like xanax and can certainly be abused.

    I think the advice by the dr's to difficult child to get therapy is very good. Hopefully he'll start seeing a therapist and talk about what's REALLY going on beneath the surface.

    I know how our easy child's can get entangled with difficult child friends/bfs. Hoping your easy child does not get too distracted from the other important areas of her life.

    Thinking of yall
  3. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    Ugh, I hate-hate-hate those ultrasounds. Here, drink as much water as you will hold without ACTUALLY turning into a camel, and you're not allowed to pee, then we're gonna squash your bladder with this little plastic wand. I literally RAN to the bathroom when they told me I could hop up. Vicious things.

    What have they ruled out already/thinking it is? I know it's normal to lose your period, especially when you've been on Depo that long. That's something like a 50% normal side effect.
  4. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Are they only doing an ultrasound on the uterus and ovaries? Has she seen a gastro? Perhaps, there is an issue that needs to be addressed, there? If she's losing weight and has lower abdominal pain, I would suggest seeing a gastroenterologist, if the US is okay, today.

    How old is Casper? After hearing all this, I think I might just do a background check to make sure he doesn't have anymore skeletons in the closet....especially violent-related ones.
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Loth, thank you for bringing up the gastro issue - I will put a buzz in the Dr's ear or just make an appointment myself, since I am getting to not like our Dr so very much these days. Hmph - another post for another time.

    Casper is 23. He is the boyfriend that easy child had when in HS (he is two years older than easy child). She broke with him when she went off to college and then got back together with him when she returned home. The main reason they broke up before she went to college is because he slept with the town bike and after much denying, easy child simply called said bike and asked her. She confirmed it, easy child confronted boyfriend and he finally admitted it. easy child then broke it off and left for college. After about a 6 months or so, Casper wrote easy child a very long heart felt letter - he had been under the advisement of his very devout father. easy child acknowledged his letter, but was already seeing a college boyfriend and they agreed to let old dogs lie (no pun intended). When she rushed back home shortly after graduation, it became crystal clear to H and me that she and Casper had been talking and would begin to see one another again, which they did asap. So...that's the history. We've known him since he's 19, his parents are nice people, although I do believe his mom is a bit ditzy and has her head in the clouds when it comes to her kids (there are two more sons and a daughter from an earlier marriage - the two older sons are difficult children as well). But nice people nonetheless. I have often wondered if he and his family love easy child not only because she's a sweety but because she's so solid, Know what I mean?? Anyway, her life to figure out. Remember, I'm practicing my detachment, doesn't mean I can't worry now and again - lol.
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    So far as we can tell the US went fine. At one point midway the tech asked difficult child if her Dr had done a pregnancy test, which I have to say freaked me out a little. But nothing compared to difficult child's face - wow. She really looked upset and said, "NooOOOooooOOooo, why?" The tech never responded so we were left in the dark. I told difficult child that if it was anything, they would notify her Dr and they would notify us. Ugh, silly woman...way to freak everyone out.
  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Praying hard the ultrasound tech was just making conversation.

    As far a easy child goes, she will be fine. She's a smart girl. I don't know why our girls choose the guys they do. Most of them are nice guys---but somehow have a difficult child streak in there. Jana's latest is not my choice of a life mate for her---hope it doesn't come to that--but I know I'll have to deal with my issues if it does because she is a young adult who is capable of making her own decisions---even if I think they are the wrong ones!!!
  8. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I would echo Loth's GI suggestion, especially with the weight loss issue. Has she had bloodwork done? If so, how did it look?
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    "Have you had a pregnancy test done?" OMG!!!! and your heart didnt stop beating?

    I would have stopped at every drug store on the way home and bought every EPT test they had.
  10. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I called difficult child's Dr and left a message for her to call me today. I haven't heard anything yet. I will try again before lunch. I just want to ask about the pregnancy thing and the depo shot - chance of, etc., as well as about the GI thing. So far, from what difficult child has said, the Dr is blaming her weight loss on too much smoking and drinking too much coffee. Sounds too simple to me at this point but I'm not a Dr. And I don't believe that difficult child is pregnant. I just don't.

    easy child told me last night that she thinks Casper's panic attacks are somehow related to her. She is blaming herself. I asked her if she'd spoken with him about this and she said that he's not opening up about it at all and he's been staying at his parent's house the past few nights and lying low. They were supposed to go away this weekend and she doesn't even think that he will go now but she doesn't know because he's not really talking with her. I also know easy child and she won't just come out and ask him because then she feels she's stepping on his toes...ugh. So, this is when all her experience growing up the sister of a difficult child in a nuthouse (not really, haha) is going to reveal it's consequences, huh? I told her that it's important for her and boyfriend to be able to discuss what's going on with him. These are two young adults who were planning a life together. If they can't talk about his health issues, wth?